What we said – wedding vows

I wrote about what I did not want to say in my wedding vows in this post so I thought I should do a post about what we did say.

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This is what we read to each other as our promises. I non traditionally went first as I was so nervous I needed to get my part done. I had mine translated into Afrikaans and surprised The Geek by reading them in his home language, with my strong English accent. But I think I did okay. I will post them here in English as not everyone reading the blog will understand the Afrikaans version.

Sally:
Yme, I choose you to be my husband, my companion on this journey, my partner in this life.
I will listen to you carefully, consider your ideas, and be open to the many things I can learn from you;
I will be your greatest advocate, whether your endeavors succeed or fail;
I will accept your strengths and faults as you accept mine; I will keep patient as we learn from our mistakes, and with you I will happily celebrate our successes;
I will remember to laugh when we need it most, and work to be slow to anger and quick to forgive;
I will strive to live consciously and deliberately so that our lives will be rich and that we might make a difference in this world;
I will take each year as it comes, but I will never take you for granted.
I will keep growing and changing, but I intend to always be someone who you can be proud to call your wife.

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Yme
Sally I choose you to be my wife, my truest companion, my cherished partner.
I will offer my strength as your advocate, your sounding board, your anchor and your shelter;
I will work to bring us together when we feel furthest apart. Your happiness is inseparable from my own;
I will encourage you to follow your passion and reach your full potential as you encourage me to chase my own dreams;
I will weigh the words I speak and the things I do;
I will strive to live consciously and deliberately so that our lives will be rich and that we might make a difference in this world;
I will take each year as it comes, but I will never take you for granted;
I will keep growing and changing, but I intend to always be someone who you can be proud to call your husband.

These were our vows that the wedding official read and we said ‘I do’

Do you, Yme, take Sally-Jane as an individual and as your wife,
to treat her lovingly and with respect,
in joy and in sorrow,
in plenty and in want,
in sickness and in health,
and to be a faithful, committed partner,
as long as I am able?
Yme: I do.

Do you, Sally-Jane, take Yme as an individual and as your husband,
to treat him lovingly and with respect,
in joy and in sorrow,
in plenty and in want,
in sickness and in health,
and to be a faithful, committed partner,
as long as I am able?
Sally-Jane: I do

At the end we got all the children up with us and this was read to all of us.

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Blessing on the family:
Yme and Sally-Jane, in addition to your new life as husband and wife, you have the joys of parenting to keep you busy! Rachel, Caleb and Titus, please join your Mom and Pappa.
Yme, Sally-Jane, Rachel, Caleb, and Titus, may you be filled with gratitude for the many blessings you share: being together, abundance, and well-being. Remember to speak kind words, to listen more, to respect differences, and to show patience. Rachel, Caleb and Titus, your parents will guide you to make wise choices, to keep promises, and to be honest. Remember always how much they love you. Yme and Sally-Jane, teach your kids to gently let go of hurts and overlook shortcomings, and to have hope during times of difficulty and change. Remember to see and nurture goodness within each other.

I am very grateful to our wedding official Dion Black of Wedlock how listened to all our requests and put up with my quirks and requests to change wording and vows and even the order of the service.

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DIY wedding: Living Plants in recycled tins

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Being a Pink Haired Girl who is green at heart, I wanted to include elements of recycling and green eco friendliness into the wedding. Besides it is a great budget saver if you can make a lot of the decorations from stuff you collect. This blog is about recycled tins into plant pots for living decorations at a wedding or party.

You will need:

* clean tins
* Philips Screw driver
* Hammer
* Potting soil
* Small trays of plants
* Origami crane or other decorations

Step 1: Collect the tins
Collect tins of various shapes and sizes during the months leading up to the wedding/party.
If you want a rusted more antique look then leave them outside to the elements to get a bit rusted.

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Step 2: Make drainage holes
Use the star screw driver and a hammer and make a small drainage hole at the bottom of the tin so that that water does not collect around the roots after you have planted the little plants into the tins. I planted mine the week before to gibe them time to get used to their new environment and also so I had less to do closer to the wedding. No plants likes wet soggy roots so drainage hole are important.

Tins

Step 3: Buy plants and potting soil

If you are really really adventurous you could get seeds and grow the plants you are going to use from seeds but I just went to the nursery and bought small flowers. The fun part is choosing all the colours and pants to suit your theme. We went with a multi coloured, but you can get flowers in certain colours. Bear in mind if the area you are going to use the flowers is in the shade or the sun and then match the flowers accordingly. Depending how far in advance your wedding is remember to look for plant that still have closed buds so that they will be open at the time of the wedding.

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Step 4: Planting

I planted about a week before to let the plants settle in, I used a small amount of potting soils in the bottom of the tin, then added the plant and filled the sides with more soil, press down lightly and water. Keep i the shade until the wedding and remember to water them.

Step 5: Add Decorations and Enjoy

There are many ways that you can decorate the tins, we added ribbons and rainbow origami birds on wire sticks
You can also paint the tin or decorate them in other ways that suit your wedding/party theme

There we used some on the logs next to the isle with little knitted and fabric birds to match our theme as we met on twitter
tinbirds

logsandtins_Snapseed

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Wedding Dress – I need your opinion please

I love my dress I found for our Pinky and The Geek wedding. It is not traditional at all, but I think it makes my boobs look good.  After spending so much on them, it is, in some very vain way important to me. We are not religious or doing a religious service so I don’t need to worry about modesty. But seriously while my boobs looks look good, I don’t think the dress is too revealing.  But ask Carlè, Carlise or Andre they have seen it on.

I have this overwhelming desire to show The Geek. He is not that keen, but he wanted to know a bit about it so the outfits he gets for himself and his brothers are in keeping.

So my question:

Ladies
Did your husband see your dress before?
Did you like the surprise or value his involvement?

Guys
Did you see the dress before?
What way do you prefer, should it be a surprise?

Or am I over thinking this and placing more value on a dress than a man will ever attribute. And really they don’t care that much?

Oh and what do you think of a first look before the service, so he sees you without the need to keep emotions in check in front of the masses? Or again do I ascribe female emotions to guys, and really they are not capible of the same excitement over how you look?

Please be honest here folks, this is one if you read it please give your 2c

Thanks

All is well

Caleb was an absolute star on Friday, he was brave and did not make a fuss at all for his needle biopsy. It was quite funny to watch him all spaced out with the sedative they gave him. My awesome GP managed to get the results for me the same day and it showed a reactive gland, in other words and infection and no cancer! Yay A huge thank you to Carle who let us going to the farm after the hospital to wait for the results. I would have been much more stressed alone.

What great news to get before the day before my birthday. I must admit that when he came to climb into bed with me Saturday to wish me happy birthday I gave him an extra long hug.What a great 35 birthday present.

I had a wonderful birthday weekend, it was spend with family and friends. The boys woke me up with presents in the morning, we then did some shopping, baked caked and got the snoek braai ready. Yme’s family came over, our friend Andre (and his nice car) and my friend Carle and her family and we just chatted and laughed and relaxed it was lovely.

I spoke to Rachel on skype and she was having a good time at her Dad for the weekend visit. I am glad it went well and they went to a lot of effort to make it nice for her. I just hope that it does not open a lot of old wounds for Rachel. She has come to accept a certain level of non involvement from her dad but they were always close so I wonder if seeing him again and having a nice time will make her sad and miss him more again. Maybe seeing her will be motivation for him to come and visit them ( one can always hope)

Sunday we did a bit of gardening and then went to watch F1 at The Green Barn. We have been trying to decide where to get married and for budget reasons we were going to do it at home but we decided to ask on the off hand that it might not be as expensive as ‘proper’ commercial wedding venue. It is a barn, rustic and has a huge play area. They do great pizza and so we can have pizza and then bring any other food we like. They have a bar so the drinks are sorted. There is a hall with a fire place and a lovely outside section where we can do the service. The kids area is fantastic, with jumping castle, huge wooden climbing frame, trampoline. We have kids and a lot of the people coming to the wedding, especially those coming from far away will have their kids. It feel odd to try exclude them as we are a family. So this play area makes it perfect.

I am really excited, by the time we fixed the garden, hired the extra tables, chairs, plates, glassware etc and thought about a jumping castle etc for home we would be spending more so I am very happy and it is still very much in keeping with our style. It is 5 minutes from home and we can decorate it in much the same way with a backyard diy crafty feel as we would have done at home.

All in all a great weekend, how was your weekend?

Pinky’s wedding hair vote – have your say!

Come vote! Join in the fun and decide the fate of Pinky’s hair
I promised yesterday that I would give you all the vote as to what Pinky’s wedding hair will be. I have collected ideas and pictures and will share them here with you and then add the poll on the bottom in which you can all vote.

There are quite a few people that have said I should go my natural colour, to be honest this is the option that scares me the most. I used to have gorgeous strawberry blonde hair like Rachel, with natural blonde, copper, brown and red highlights it was a colour that people pay a lot for at the hairdresser, and yet highlights can never look as good as natural ones. But sadly red is a colour that fades very quickly as you grow older. Soon I was left with mousey brown hair and started adding blonde hairdresser highlights when I was about 19. My hair has not been 100% natural since then and I am not sure I really like that colour anyway. Many ladies have highlights and colour at their wedding, it does not make them any less of who they are.

A few comments made me wonder if people misunderstand my pink hair. I don’t have pink hair to hide behind and I am no less Sally-Jane for having pink hair in fact I think I am more me. Yes pink hair is a bit outrageous, but I makes me smile when I look in the mirror. It reminds me to be true to myself and follow my dreams and my heart. I was very sad, for a very long time, when I was married before. I think I lost such a big part of the fun, loving person that I am. I am now happier and more relaxed in the person I am than I ever was before. So why does natural scare me, well maybe it feels like I will fade and loose my true identity again. I will add the natural option because people have asked but please don’t vote for it only because you think it make me more myself, if anything I think it makes me less me.

Another quick word, My hair is bright pink at the moment and has been for 3 years, I can not get the pink out without damaging my hair. The options are: I can grow it out or dye colours over that will blend or make different shades. My hair grows fast but not that fast. I am not sure that some of these might not be possible purely due to the time frame.

Option 1: Pink and blonde
I love this one. I think it would be soft and beautiful for the wedding and still enough pink to be Pinky. I just worry about having enough time to grow it out.

Option 2: Light pink
I could probably get my hair to this length by the wedding – maybe and then it could all be light pink

Option 3: Light Pink with colour streaks

Option 4: Shades of Pink
The other light pink option is to go from light pink on top and fade down the the darker pink, then my hair could be longer as I would not have to cut out the darker section that is dyed now. So this picture but in reverse

I love this one too but the tones and shades of pink might depend how much and how long it has grown out

Option 5: Shades of pink down to purple/blue
I want to keep some pink but the idea of a few other colours is cool too. I like this picture but imagine the top starting in light pink and then down to my pink at the moment and then purple and then blue

Option 6: Rainbow
Pink, light pink and purple on top and yellow, green, red, blue, orange and green underneath

Option 7: Pinky as she is now

Option 8: My natural colour with blonde highlights, I refuse to be mousy brown


 

Dear Skin I am 35 not 15

Pimples might be part of what you have to endure as a teenager, and while it is not fun, it is almost bearable when all your contemporaries are as spotty as you are and bad skin is par for the course.

But roll on 34 years 11 months and 4 days, and well, the bad skin problem is getting old. Wrinkles and pimples are not things that I thought I would be combating at the same time. I thought I would have packed away the teen skin products and moved swiftly to the anti wrinkle creams with not too much over lap between the two, but alas this is not the case.

The fact is that if life was fair, I really should have been able to leave pimples behind after high school, or at the very least been able to wave them good bye by the time I got the plonk on the head and accepted my degree after university. The normal amount of time that one expects to be plagued by pimples, spots, zits, blackheads, chorbs. I am sure that there are many more gross names for them, and please feel free to share them with me in the comments, but I am grossing myself out now already with that list. If you could have a webcam shot of my face you would see my up turned nose and grimace at even having to type the word chorb! It was one I hated from school, it is just so repulsive in its entirety. Certainly not a word I thought would feature in my life in any way shape of form at almost 35.

But enough moaning, I still have bad skin. Not the worst ever, and I guess a lot better than some of my teenage years, but enough to be embarrassing at times. Enough to make me frustrated with being my age and even needing to think about acne treatment. I know I am not alone, I have seen others moan about it on twitter and blogs,so it seemed like reason enough to blog about it and what I discovered recently. If only, to share what I found, and to help anyone else feel less alone, if they too still have skin issues.

I googled adult acne one night when lying in bed, after my evening skin care routine had left me feeling very despondent. I was looking to see if there was anything new, anything that might help. I came across a site called acne.org

I was looking for what was new and ways to treat my skin now that might be different from when I was a teenager and no it seems that actually nothing has changed the same thing that helped teenagers – benzoyl peroxide is the same thing that helps now. I found Dan’s Regimen very interesting. The biggest thing that I took from it was to stop rubbing, scrubbing and any type of facial exfoliation. The touch needed was very minimal and as light as possible and he has a whole range of suggestions for products that can help.

While there seems to be a limited number of things that actually meet all the requirements I did manage to find some stuff here in SA. Granted that I have not had enough time to trawl the shops kid-free and read all the products and ingredient lists to find the perfect ones, but I think I have found some that just might work. I have yet to find benzoyl peroxide in 2,5% but I did find 5%. I read somewhere else on the web, that you could dilute it with water so that is what I have been doing for now but I will look for the 2,5% version and if anyone see it or has found it here please let me know.

So far I have been doing this for just under a week and even though I am pre menstral, usually a skin disaster time, I am seeing a slow improvement rather than a steady getting worse of my skin. The results are slow but he says that you have to start slowly so your skin gets used to the benzoyl peroxide and then build up to the doses that actually help.

My main motivation is to have clear skin for the wedding. I can not get married again and still have pimples! I will even settle for clearer skin.

Wrinkles… well lets not even go there. I am saying that they are all laughter lines and are therefore supposed to be there.

Do you have a love hate relationship with your skin?
Have you even suffered with adult acne?
or are you amongst the lucky ones with clean clear skin?

(and in case you were wondering the chemical thingy in the picture is benzoyl peroxide, see what The Geek has done to me, I put chemical thingy pictures into my blog, and now I am grinning thinking about his face when he reads then from his RRS feed and cringes inwardly at my use of the words chemical thingy. Well he might have served to add to my Geekiness but Pinky is still a little clueless about some of these things. But the picture was pretty and much better than what I could have put on here if I searched for acne pictures)

Love

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.

Update on the Honeymoon and other news

Update Klaus was able to get the vendor to agree to let us go next year. I am sure it is in part because Klaus was willing to help and the only person that happened to listen to us and try help. No one we spoke to even bother to call back then promised. I also think that a large part of getting the problem solved was the pressure from twitter. There were a lot of retweets and bad press about Groupon flying around twitter. It was sad to hear how many people have had terrible experiences through Groupon. I personally will not use them again. I am just grateful to Klaus for sorting this out. I think Groupon got off lightly as it was the hotel that agreed to take us at a time when they had not actually offered the deal. Groupon did not take any responsibility for their mistake or bear any of the consequences.

– In other news we are all a bit sick, the first of the winter seasons colds have hit the house.

– The Geek is in Namibia and has been delayed and will now only be home on Saturday, this is of course when I am home coping alone with a house of sick kids and sick Pinky

– When I came home from dinner at Carle last night, we stayed on after our Wednesday playdate as The Geek was away. Titus cried most of the way home. I got to the driveway and had to get out to turn off the a,arm as Titus was cryng too much for me to hear it beep off. I get back to the car and it is dead. No idea how a car drives perfectly fine from the farm here and then will not start again in the driveway. I tried to push it in but with no luck. I then unpacked the whole car with Rachel holding a screaming Titus. I am not sure if other Mommy cars get like mine but it seems everything and the kitchen sink was in there. I just had to leave the car outside, it would be a day that The Geek was not here!

– I have a cold sore, I have not had one of these for years, maybe before the children. It is really ouchy

– I finished a fabulous neck scarf for myself which I totally love.

– Tanya from Snapping Turtle has designed the most amazing logo for the Pinky & The Geek wedding, so now I can get the save the dates out soon. We have done a trade ( I love trades) and so I need to get knitting on her order.

Groupon ruined my dream Honeymoon

The Geek and I have dreamed of going to some small island or tropical get away for our honeymoon. The budget is tight, we can’t really afford to get married but we are making a plan. It was so important to us not to spend too much money on wedding or the ring as we are desperate to go away together alone.

We met when I had Pinklet 1 and 2 in tow. Soon Pinklet 3 joined the gang. We love our kids and having a family but we have NEVER been alone.

I dreamed of going to Mozambique to a place my sister told me about. But we could not afford it. I was beyond excited when I saw a deal for a 5 day trip to Mozambique for 50% off. The deal said low season January to March and then after Easter until before Christmas. But it had no end date.

Seeing as it was already the end of March I thought maybe the deal was available 2013. It was Sunday afternoon. I emailed Groupon and the hotel to check.

I never received a reply email from groupon. I phoned on Tuesday as I did not want to miss the deal. I asked and the phone consultant agreed the deal was unclear. He went to ask his manager and came back and said it was available 2013. I said I was very happy as we wanted it for our honeymoon but only if we could use it next year.

I bought the deal on my credit card and if we pay it off slowly we would be okay and could try get money for flights. I was so happy.

Later in the week, I get an email from the hotel saying no the deal was only for this year. I immediately phoned groupon, they changed their story and said it was not available. I was so upset and asked to speak to a manager. Klaus was lovely and I think because he was leaving the next day to get married on the weekend, he understood how important this deal was to us. He promised to negotiate with the vendor and try work something out. He left to get married and emailed me the details of the people following it up.

They of course never emailed or contacted me. I emailed them asking what was happening. No reply. The Geek phoned on last week, no one knew about it and had not followed up after Klaus left. The girl The Geek spoke to also promised to get back to us – nothing.

Until today when I get a email saying the deal has been refunded to me. I don’t want a refund! No one had the courtesy just to call us. So now I am tweeting and blogging and linking this on FaceBook.

The Geek just gchatted me ( yes we are very geeky during the day too, sometimes I can even make him blush. The best is when it pops up on his screen at work and a work buddy or client is looking at his screen and it is one of those messages, hee he bad Pinky) he spoke to Klaus who is going to try negotiate with the vendor if this does not work I am going to ask for you help. Klaus is the only decent one there who actually follows up on his word and does contact you back. Nothing happened the 2 weeks he was away. Poor man is only just back from his own honeymoon. But maybe that help him realize how important this is.

Can you guys please help me?
Tweet @groupon_za and say it is not right what they have done to The Geek and me.

FaceBook message them

Or if anyone knows if there is anything legally we can do, please let me know.

I am in tears. This was our dream honeymoon, they promised it was available and just with a cold clinical refund email my dreams are shattered.

We have this screen shot of the deal, and a close up of the dates

The Date Dilemma

I might have stopped The Geek stalling on the proposal but setting the date is another story. Everyone asks me if we have set a date yet. ( please ask The Geek too so he feels some of the pressure)

Let me explain Pinky and The Geek a bit to you, and why the date is turning into a bit of a drama

Pinky
I am impatient, once I know or need to do something I want to throw myself into it and get started and make it happen. Let me give you an example.

I would have gotten married this coming Wednesday the public holiday, which would have been 3 weeks after the proposal. It made perfect sense, my sister was still here from England, Ghilraen would have been able to combine a trip she need to do to CT, Catherine would still be in Cape Town, the weather is still good and what better way to not spend too much money than just not have enough time to spend it 😉 and being a public holiday our anniversary would always have been a holiday. SO you see I am hasty and often impulsive and can make just about anything sound like a good idea. But no one would have slept and we all would have been very cranky and rushed.

The Geek
The Geek is infinitely patient. He is sure that 2014 well if he is honest 2015 sounds like a good time. I try not to feel too hurt and take it as a sign that he is reluctant or dragging his feet, no The Geek is more complicated than that. He needs things to be perfect he likes to plan things and not to rush. He also hates feeling like he is doing things to other peoples agenda so the more people ask the less inclined he is to set a date. So while making sure that stuff is right is a good quality it can also lead to never doing anything because it is not the perfect time.

All this has a rather disastrous effect on Pinky who hates not knowing, even if it is not going to be on Wednesday ( yes I realize it would have been a bit silly) and even if it is later than I would have liked, I function better if I just have something to work towards. But the more I try just sit down and discuss it the more The Geek evades the topic so the more I try another chance to talk about it and after 5 or so of these conversations that go no where the Geek is feeling pressured and I am feel avoided and hurt so I get more anxious just to get it done and he gets more determined to wait even longer.

*Le Sigh* I think Pinky and The Geek have some lessons to learn. This is what marriage is really about after all, learning to understand why the other person acts the way the do and try to find a middle ground that works for you both.

I am going to carry on Pinning things and hopefully getting more ideas and I am going to not talk about it to The Geek anymore. I am going to try do this without any hurt feelings or sulking – no promises but I will try.

The Geek is finishing his degree and so is studying and I have to be mindful that he can’t really think of anything else at the moment and it will be a huge burden off us all when he is finished.


When you decided to get married how did you decide on the date?

rainbow hair

Rainbow Hair Phase 1

Ever since I saw this picture on Pinterest I have coveted rainbow hair

rainbow hair

The problem is that it will be hard to get these bright colours over pink. I decided that I would do this for my wedding hair (not that The Geek has asked yet, but all in good time). Seems like a good idea to plan it for a big event, as it would be impossible to maintain for long. Afterwards I would go back to pink and dye over the colours until they grew out, they would be muted shades of pink and purple. Like this except more pink and purple as the blue and green I guess would go purplish under with pink over

Rainbow hair

But to do rainbow, I need hair that has not had pink on it before. To get the pink out would be hard as it is 2 years worth of dying and pink is notoriously hard to remove. The options seemed to be growing it out and looking like I had forgotten to go to the hairdresser or shaving it off and growing non pink hair until I wanted to do the rainbow, neither of these appealed to me at all.

I was chatting to @stylinggenius on twitter. She confirmed that growing out or shaving would be best. Then I googled this picture

rainbow hair

So the solution is to only carry on bleaching and pinking the top so it looks okay and only the bottom grows out. It will look a bit odd, but it is not like I am not used to looking odd 😉 and this way I stay pink. Even when I do the rainbow it is under the pink so Pink Hair Girl is still mainly pink

rainbow hair phase 1

It is hard to take photos of your own head!
but here is the top only bleached the bottom ponytail part will grow out. I think I will cut it shorter for this growing out stage.

And it tied in with my gift of today. While I am not saying The Geek does help me dye my hair, but if he did, then just doing the top would mean I can do it myself and he does not have to help. He would be most willing to help if he ever did, and again not saying he does, but not having to do it would make him happy.

So phase 1 will take about a year I guess. Time enough for The Geek to ask me, yes i know i am a bit hasty in my planning, but i know he will ask when he is ready and i know this takes ages so best be prepared.