Bra shopping – what is your story?

I dread going bra shopping. I think part of the problem for me, is all the years before my boob op, when bra shopping was so humiliating and soul destroying. I can remember sitting in a changing room cubicle, silently sobbing with tears streaming down my face, feeling like a freak. Nothing fitted, I did not for all intense and purposes have any boobs, but being bra-less was also not an option. Comments like “smuggling smarties” or just wanting to wear a white top meant I had to wear something. I usually settled for wearing strappy tops underneath my clothes and gave up on bras, but I felt like less of a woman, like I did not quite make the grade. I have dealt with a lot of these emotions and was blessed to be loved for who I am and learnt that my attractiveness is not proportional to my cup size.

Now with boobs, bra shopping should be easier, but still I dread it. Finding the right size seems like guess work and after being measured at 2 different shops after the new boobs, and getting size differences from 32A to 36C. I mean really, I did not spend a LOT of money still to be an A! And depending on the make and style sometimes the 36C fits and sometimes not.

Now of course my world is dominated by feeding bras, which are truly the sexiest things ever. But Titus is almost weaned and I know I need to go face those cubicles and rows of innocent looking bras on plastic hangers. But behind the facade of a fabric item of clothing, this little garment can make or break a woman’s fragile body image and self esteem. Standing in a cubicle with full body mirrors all around you and needing to be next to naked just to try the bras on, can be difficult for women who have body image issues. Add to this struggling to find a bra that fits and the whole experience is awful.

Apparently 99.973% of us wear the wrong bra size. Okay I made those statistics up, you never guessed hey 😉 I am sure I could Google the exact statistics, but most of it is made up or depends on the sample group. But it is usually 60 to 70% that is quoted. That is a lot of woman in the wrong bra. There are enough woman that look like their boobs are being dissected into 4, shoulders have painful marks where their bra straps cut in, bras that ride up at the back or boobs that fall out at the side to know woman are getting it wrong. These examples of ill fitting bras we have all seen and perhaps experienced.

The other end of the spectum to me and my small boobs is anyone who dares to have bigger than DD. Trying find bras for larger boobs can be just as traumatic. My younger sister, please note when you have boob issues and your sister younger than you by 5 years starts buy bras bigger than you, it is another time you feel betrayed by your body. My sister got my share and her share and I know while I spend years being green with envy she struggles to find bras that fit comfortably as a woman with more than the shop deems average.

This has motivated her to see if she can make a difference and what cab be done about the horror of bra shopping. She has a short 10 question questionnaire if the ladies would be so kind as to fill it in for her. (here is the link to copy and paste if that one does not work http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/FNKH386) you can also email Sarah any comments and experiences that you might not want to share in the comments below swainsonsarah@gmail.com

If you feel comfortable sharing about your bra shopping experience please comment below about your usual experience good or bad when bra shopping.

Thanks for your time, I hope she finds an answer to help make bra shopping easier and a more pleasant experience

Love

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What would you change?

There is a time machine in front of you right now! Imagine it as an old one like this, the steampunkness of it appeals to me, or a new fancy sci-fi type. In the air you can smell the heavy scent of possibility. If you step inside you get to set one date, you will be able to go back in your own life. Give yourself a pep talk and change the decisions that you will make. Would you take it? Would you go? Or could you walk away.

On twitter today I asked ” Do you regret more the things you did do or the things you didn’t”
It was interesting to see people responses. It was a mix actually. I then spoke to The Geek and being philosophical as ever he said it was pointless to regret anything. If carefully considered and made the best decision you could at the time with what you knew then you did your best. But he is not impulsive like me. I don’t always carefully consider anything. I am the typical embodiment of the saying “fools rush in where angels fear to tread”. Then he said if you don’t do something you don’t know how it would have been and so regret is again pointless

I had one conversation I had was about a single important regretted decision and faced with a time machine it would be very conflicting to decide what to do. It seems on one level easy to think that you would like to go back with what you know now and help yourself make a different decision. But that changes EVERYTHING, it changes who we are and who we become.

The hurt, even at its deepest, shapes who we become. Strength comes from enduring and character from making hard decisions.

For example I married the wrong person the first time, but without that I would not have my kids, but it is more than that, I would not have known I did not have them, if that makes sense. But there is so much more that it is taught me and moulded me that I think in myself I would be different. I would not have pink hair.

Things I do wish I could change involve hurting others. And at times I wish I could undo some of that. We are often selfish and we don’t always act thinking of others. But maybe it was part of their journey and lessons to learn.

To feel the really good, we have to be able to weather through the really bad. Otherwise we are just anesthetized and live through all experiences without really feeling them. The sadness that brings you to your knees and makes it hard to even breath, is balanced by the joy that makes your heart want to burst. If we undo the bad maybe we undo the good too.

So would you get into the time machine and go and do or undo something?