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The Date Dilemma

I might have stopped The Geek stalling on the proposal but setting the date is another story. Everyone asks me if we have set a date yet. ( please ask The Geek too so he feels some of the pressure)

Let me explain Pinky and The Geek a bit to you, and why the date is turning into a bit of a drama

Pinky
I am impatient, once I know or need to do something I want to throw myself into it and get started and make it happen. Let me give you an example.

I would have gotten married this coming Wednesday the public holiday, which would have been 3 weeks after the proposal. It made perfect sense, my sister was still here from England, Ghilraen would have been able to combine a trip she need to do to CT, Catherine would still be in Cape Town, the weather is still good and what better way to not spend too much money than just not have enough time to spend it 😉 and being a public holiday our anniversary would always have been a holiday. SO you see I am hasty and often impulsive and can make just about anything sound like a good idea. But no one would have slept and we all would have been very cranky and rushed.

The Geek
The Geek is infinitely patient. He is sure that 2014 well if he is honest 2015 sounds like a good time. I try not to feel too hurt and take it as a sign that he is reluctant or dragging his feet, no The Geek is more complicated than that. He needs things to be perfect he likes to plan things and not to rush. He also hates feeling like he is doing things to other peoples agenda so the more people ask the less inclined he is to set a date. So while making sure that stuff is right is a good quality it can also lead to never doing anything because it is not the perfect time.

All this has a rather disastrous effect on Pinky who hates not knowing, even if it is not going to be on Wednesday ( yes I realize it would have been a bit silly) and even if it is later than I would have liked, I function better if I just have something to work towards. But the more I try just sit down and discuss it the more The Geek evades the topic so the more I try another chance to talk about it and after 5 or so of these conversations that go no where the Geek is feeling pressured and I am feel avoided and hurt so I get more anxious just to get it done and he gets more determined to wait even longer.

*Le Sigh* I think Pinky and The Geek have some lessons to learn. This is what marriage is really about after all, learning to understand why the other person acts the way the do and try to find a middle ground that works for you both.

I am going to carry on Pinning things and hopefully getting more ideas and I am going to not talk about it to The Geek anymore. I am going to try do this without any hurt feelings or sulking – no promises but I will try.

The Geek is finishing his degree and so is studying and I have to be mindful that he can’t really think of anything else at the moment and it will be a huge burden off us all when he is finished.


When you decided to get married how did you decide on the date?

Leap year proposal

The Geek and I have talked a lot about getting married. He says things like “you know I want to marry you” to which I usually reply “apparently”

The Geek analyzes, researches and waits until he feels everything is perfect before he does things. This means it takes a long time. Especially something like a proposal.

With 3 kids and a tight budget there is never enough money and the idea of a wedding gets put on the back burner.

I on the other hand am impulsive and impatient. I am bad at waiting. Being a leap year I decided to propose.

Actually I had a thought how I would do it and the told a friend who was so enthusiastic it was contagious, so I threw caution to the wind and emailed 6 friends on Twitter to help.

Why Twitter, because we met on Twitter and Titus’s birth was Tweeted and we met a lot of good friends on Twitter.

Each person had one word to tweet to The Geek 5 minutes apart starting at 4:00 ending at 4:30 when he finishes work. I would do the last tweet outside his office.

I was so nervous. Not that he would say no, but that he would be mad that he did not get to have his romantic moment. I even emailed his brother to check if he knew of any imminent plans, if he would have told anyone he would have told his brother. Jacques did not know of any plans, he said his brother procrastinates and to go for it. He even baby sat Titus.

The older 2 were on the farm with Carle for a sleep over. I dropped all the kids and started watching my phone. I was so nervous it would not work or someone would be delayed. But they were all amazing. A huge thank you to Carle, Sharon, Andre, Paul, Annatjie and Catherine

I did warn him to look at his Twitter from 4 as I know sometimes he gets too busy.
This is what his timeline looked like.
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He came out the office he looked so confused. He was grinning and he gave me a kiss and said yes. I was shaking I was so nervous.

When I said I was worried he would be mad he said of course he was not mad, and although he had a few vague ideas in his mind he had no fixed plans.

We went straight to the beach for a photo shoot with Catherine from Cazpix and then out to dinner. It was lovely.

 

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the rest of the photo shoot is here