Loving a wild woman

I think I should come with a warning or disclaimer or something, like proceed at own risk. I have even been known to warn men not to get too close to me. I have been called a wild woman, free spirit and a tigress. This got me thinking about what kind of person  can love a wild woman and does anyone gets to keep her forever?

  • The controller: You get the kind like my ex who need to try and control the wild woman, cage her, control and for a while they might even get this right. I was very subdued in my marriage and almost lost the wild side completely. I think this is why so many people think I have changed so much as I was never like this when married. ( but change is a topic for a whole new blog) This controlling only works for a while and then finally you have to break free or it breaks your spirit forever.
  • The ones who run away: I have a gift for attracting people to me who should not even start the journey in the first place. They are intrigued and drawn to the energy they are scared to let it pass by without at least making some attempt to be in the wild womans life. These people she is often very willing to give a huge part of herself to, but inveariably they return to the safe and normal,  but never quite the same. A small part of them will always wonder, “would she have been worth the risk?’ These people leave her hurting.
  • The rock: The strong, calm one who offers the wild woman a safe place to be herself but is never tempted to try change her. The one willing to watch as she runs wild, who will occasionally offer warnings if they think she is about to hurt herself, but they know she may heed no such warnings. So they are ready to pick up the piece if she does in deed get hurt. She knows the calm is so good for her but will she seek the wild to match her own even if it is not as good for her?
  • The lover: the one that offers to meet her needs for passion, for intimacy and touch. They give all within the boundaries of physical love, but her life as a whole is either not offered or not wanted, the balance is fine and the rewards and risks are great.
  • The forever: Is there one that can possibly be enough or not be frightened away by the enormity that is the wild woman, is there one that can not try control her but excite her and be her calm safe place? Is there one that can bound with the tigress who’s energy, spirit and passion matches hers? Can they survive her and she not tire of them or does she just get to past in and out of lives and touch many souls,  having her heart filled with gifts from those she passes during her life? Maybe no one can have her forever. Yet she wishes with all her heart that this is not true.

want me

I did not have a good day yesterday. Barbara kindly invited me and the kids over to watch movies and patiently listened to my heart ache and offer kind words through my tears.

We watched Sunshine Cleaners.

There was one part where I so identified with the main character, she says ‘I am good at getting men to want me, not to date me or marry me but just to want me’.

Well no more, you either want me, all of me as imperfect as I am or please leave me alone. No I don’t expect marriage proposals and I am wise enough to know that not every date will lead to a relationship, BUT don’t even start to talk to me unless you are serious about the possibility of something more.