The Geek is Step Dad to Rachel and Caleb and biological dad to Titus. He has been the only father figure the kids have known since they were 5 and 2, they are now 10 and 7. They have occasional skype contact with their dad in the UK and a short visit if they go over to the UK which will be once each in the 5 years.
I have heard differing opinions about how step parents should interact with step kids:
- From those who think that you should be totally involved in parenting and disciple treating them like your own kids. ( This is probably the approach The Geek takes, he jumps in boots and all)
- To those who think you take more of a backseat and deferring to the other parent, you just support but do not get actively involved especially in disciple and behaviour.
I would love to hear from those with blended families and anyone with an opinion, and we all have some of those 😉
I guess with their own dad being so far away and The Geek being the main Father they have, I wonder about the deferred parenting approach. They are not his biological kids any more than adopted kids share DNA with their parents, but are families not about more than DNA? Maybe when a biological parent lives close by and play an active role in children’s lives, I can see not wanting to take on the role that someone else already has? But in circumstances where there are big geographical distances or the biological parent is totally absent for whatever reason, is it still best for the step parent to be less involved than a biological parent would normally be.
Having Titus also means he would then need to parent the older 2 differently to Titus making an issue of him being different / special. We don’t make any differentiation. How do you parent some kids one way and others another? Is this not confusing?
I would love to hear your thoughts. I know what works for us and obviously each family is so unique there is no one size fits all when it comes to most things with parenting.
Most days I am glad I am not the step parent. It is not east.
Are you a step parent? – what do you think
Have you had a step parent and have a view from this perspective?
Or do you just want to tell me what you feel.