Can I have your number?

Is there still a place for old fashioned dating?

I have a non blogging friend that is keen to know if people think there is still place for old fashioned dating, where the guy ask for girls number and ask her out on a date. Social media seems to play such a big role now a days that asking for a number seems less common than sending a FaceBook friend request, or BBM contact or following twitter

I am a social media girl, I met The Geek and most of my friends here in Cape Town through my computer, in one way or another. I actually love that you can chat on places like twitter and have contact with people you might never have crossed paths with otherwise.

When I separated from my ex and started the long divorce process I remember the thought of dating was terrifying. I did not want to have to go hang out in club/bars like when I was 20s. I had no idea how to date as an adult. How do you actually meet people? And having kids added a whole new complexity to this question.

A friend introduced me to twitter and my world just opened. Granted twitter was slower and smaller and the SA tweeters knew each other and chatted often then. Naturally these friendships spilled over into real life and tweetups happened. Through one of these in Cape Town, I met The Geek.

I am quite glad that there was this way to meet people and that I did not have to go out and spend evenings in bars. Or enduring the horror of blind dating. I liked getting to know people first. I also think that it levels the play field a bit. The Geek is awesome, but not always socially confident. He is a true Geek and so asking for someone’s number is not something he did. I wonder if he had spotted me across a bar if he would have ever asked for my number.

But as social media explodes now, it is becoming less personal than a few years ago. I wonder if in some ways it has changed dating, for better or worse I am not sure. At some point people have to step out from behind social media screen and risk getting to know people for who they are. People can be very different on line.

So what do you think, is social media detracting from old fashioned dating?
Did you meet anyone on line or using social media?
Do you wish things were more like they were before?

6 thoughts on “Can I have your number?

  1. I think that older people still tend to “look” for people by attending bars or dancing clubs.
    I think that the old fashion dating can still happen through things like hobbies. What if your interest is horse riding or doing Latin dance classes and then met someone you are interested in, at one of those places? So I do think that old fashion dating is still possible through this kind of things.

  2. I’ve met one of my dearest friends online. I’m quite a reserved person and tend to keep people at arm’s length for quite a long time which puts people off. I got to know my friend on Twitter with the odd reply here and there which eventually evolved into conversations and by the time we actually had coffee together we were already good online friends.

    That said I met The Boyfriend in real life but he wasn’t crazy about me for the longest time because I seemed, and I quote, “snobbish” 🙂 Eventually we got thrown together in the same social situation so often that I dropped my guard and it turns out I’m not that bad after all. Coming up for 5 years soon.

    I think meeting people in real life and online both have their place. I would never have crossed paths with my friend otherwise and would have missed out on a great friendship.

  3. Elaine: I think there are quite a lot of us now that have met their significant other on line.

    blackhuff: I think you are right, I think there are other social events that you can meet people. I am just glad I never had to take dance classes to meet someone, their toes would not have survived.

    Alida: I too have met the most amazing friends through the internet. I would be lost without them

    Lucy: Thanks, off to have a read now

  4. well when you figure out how to meet men AWAY from the PC, let me know cos clearly i suck at it, lol prob why im still single 😀

    but then i doubt social media or anything else is going to help my non-existent love life.

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