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The Date Dilemma

I might have stopped The Geek stalling on the proposal but setting the date is another story. Everyone asks me if we have set a date yet. ( please ask The Geek too so he feels some of the pressure)

Let me explain Pinky and The Geek a bit to you, and why the date is turning into a bit of a drama

Pinky
I am impatient, once I know or need to do something I want to throw myself into it and get started and make it happen. Let me give you an example.

I would have gotten married this coming Wednesday the public holiday, which would have been 3 weeks after the proposal. It made perfect sense, my sister was still here from England, Ghilraen would have been able to combine a trip she need to do to CT, Catherine would still be in Cape Town, the weather is still good and what better way to not spend too much money than just not have enough time to spend it 😉 and being a public holiday our anniversary would always have been a holiday. SO you see I am hasty and often impulsive and can make just about anything sound like a good idea. But no one would have slept and we all would have been very cranky and rushed.

The Geek
The Geek is infinitely patient. He is sure that 2014 well if he is honest 2015 sounds like a good time. I try not to feel too hurt and take it as a sign that he is reluctant or dragging his feet, no The Geek is more complicated than that. He needs things to be perfect he likes to plan things and not to rush. He also hates feeling like he is doing things to other peoples agenda so the more people ask the less inclined he is to set a date. So while making sure that stuff is right is a good quality it can also lead to never doing anything because it is not the perfect time.

All this has a rather disastrous effect on Pinky who hates not knowing, even if it is not going to be on Wednesday ( yes I realize it would have been a bit silly) and even if it is later than I would have liked, I function better if I just have something to work towards. But the more I try just sit down and discuss it the more The Geek evades the topic so the more I try another chance to talk about it and after 5 or so of these conversations that go no where the Geek is feeling pressured and I am feel avoided and hurt so I get more anxious just to get it done and he gets more determined to wait even longer.

*Le Sigh* I think Pinky and The Geek have some lessons to learn. This is what marriage is really about after all, learning to understand why the other person acts the way the do and try to find a middle ground that works for you both.

I am going to carry on Pinning things and hopefully getting more ideas and I am going to not talk about it to The Geek anymore. I am going to try do this without any hurt feelings or sulking – no promises but I will try.

The Geek is finishing his degree and so is studying and I have to be mindful that he can’t really think of anything else at the moment and it will be a huge burden off us all when he is finished.


When you decided to get married how did you decide on the date?