1 year

So it has been a year since I moved to Cape Town and Yme started our lives together. What a year it has been. Here is the run down

  • The kids and I moved to Durbanville and Yme was thrown into the deep end with 2 kids. I think the kids and Yme have adapted very well.
  • Had to put our ART dreams on hold for finacial reasons, it is still unfinished and I will update it this week
  • My nephew was born in London, it sucks that they were so far away and I could not help my sister more.
  • The kids and I flew up to Pta for the world cup and to see my younger sister who was visiting from UK. It was lovely to see her
  • My dad was in a big car accident when we were in Pta, he drove an old Toyota Camry and I am sure it is this tank of a car that saved him
  • We found out that we were rather unexpectantly pregnant.
  • My divorce finally went through after almost a year and a half of fighting.
  • We started house hunting and found our huisie by die see
  • Moved to Melkbosstrand – I hate moving and hope this is the last time for a long long time
  • Natasha got sick and went to hospital for the first time
  • My sister and little nephew came to visit, it was lovely to meet him
  • My kids went to Pta with my mom and sister for a visit and I got 10 days off, it was wonderful
  • Flew to fetch the kids just before Christmas
  • Had a wonderful Christmas at home, Natasha came out just before and it was so special that she was with us here. Cherished memories.
  • Natasha got sick again and was admitted into hospital
  • My friends Lucy and Bodo came to visit and stay with us from England
  • Titus was born at home into his Daddy’s hands. One of the most amazing memories of my whole life. It might not have seemed like the best timing when we found out, but this little boy has come at just the right time. He joins us and provides joy in a sad time. He is like the cherry on top of our little family
  • We had to stand up to a Dr that said our baby was going to die when it was just a skin infection
  • Natasha died, I still can not believe it. I miss her. My sisters are all overseas. I was so happy to have a ‘sister’ in Cape Town. At the moment I am cross, I guess the stages of grief, but I am mad that all the things that she would have loved to do with us are now poorer for her not being here. Seeing Titus grow, kids birthdays, shopping, planning weddings, Easter etc etc. And when I get sad I feel so bad and what I feel must be a tiny fraction of what Yme and his family are going through)

So that in a nutshell is our year. On the stress scale I think we tick almost all of the boxes

But you know I through all this Yme and I are more in love than ever. I think if we can weather this last year we can face anything together. He bought be a Lindt bunny yesterday and a Anniversary card. I am not used to someone saying they love me let alone buying me things and writing lovely words expressing it. I love this man very very much.

How was your year?

11 thoughts on “1 year

  1. that is beautiful, and sad.

    i love this part the most:
    “It might not have seemed like the best timing when we found out, but this little boy has come at just the right time. He joins us and provides joy in a sad time.”

    you are lovely and deserve to be cherished!

  2. You are blessed! We all have our ups and downs.

    I’ve had a year that would make anyone cry but I choose to keep my head up and count my blessings. I have the most wonderful husband, two greats girls who are happy and well-balanced. What more could a mum want?

  3. Reading your post made me feel heartsore Sally – such a mix of joy and sadness in one year.

    My year has been amazing… new house, new jobs for both of us and an amazing addition to our family. So many blessings, I am very grateful.

  4. What a year. Beautiful and Sad and bittersweet. You’ve come such a long way. Love what you said about the timing of Titus’s birth. So profound. And so true.

  5. What a year! Such happiness, finally found and such heartache. We’re never,n ever prepared for grief. Its hard, and sometimes we are unconsolable.

    My father died when I was 17 and although I’m on the verge of turning 40, it still seems unbelievable-like a dream (or nightmare). But I choose to attempt to dwell on the good as often as possible.

    My first marriage, with two children born out of it sadly ended rather dramatically. My ex-husband and I wouldve killed each other if we had not parted ways. He used to drink, get nasty and then physically (and mentally) aabusive. I eventually started to fight back. Hence the all-out wars, nearly every day. When I was hit on the head with a beer bottle whilst holding my 5 month old son – I know that I had to get out. So, I did.

    I landed up jumping blindly into another relationship with a man whose wife had left him and we felt ‘connected’ as she’d left their two children with him and they were almost the same ages as my little two. So, there we were with two little girls and two little boys and two heartbroken adults.
    We kind of ‘made it work’. He was happy I guess, as I was providing the all-important mothering that his children required. His ex-wife however, was always’popping up’ every now and then making demands, but never actually being a mother to her children. They cramped her style quite frankly.
    In any event, I can say it and admit it now – but we got married because it was what I wanted. Period. I wanted it because I thought he ‘owed’ me as much. Four children and working full time was an incredibly taxing situation to be in. My husband was always working overtime and when he was at home, he was drinking so heavilly that he often got home, didn’t eat the dinner I’d prepared, consumed a bottle (Yes, a bottle) of brandy nearly every single night. And eventually everything crumbled and I just could not go on like that. I felt like I deserved more in life.
    That selfishness of mine ultimately led to me never being able to have contact again with Ashton and Lincoln (his children) again. He was so shocked and then angry at me when we finally split up that I guess it was important to him to ‘punish’ me in this way.

    I had to consider our future, my children Kirsten (then 15) and Robert (then 13) were a little resentful that I’d shattered their cozy home life.

    We settled into my sisters Granny flat and were trying to ‘find ourselves’ again – when the most wonderful blessing was sent my way.

    I had been chatting to someone I’d ‘met’ online since 2006 whilst he was still based in Perth. A truly platonic friendship which happened by absoloute accident but nevertheless continued as we discussed our lives’ various challenges. He was a South African man from Cape Town whose wife had failed to join him with their children in Perth (even though it was at her insistence that he get them re-located and find a job in Australia)He was ‘stuck’ in Perth as he had to complete a two year contract. After that, he was desperately trying to get a job back in South Africa as he really hated Perth. We stayed in contact all along and I was thrilled for him, when in 2008, he got a job in SA – in Cape Town.

    Everytime he came up to Jhb on business, we tried to finally meet as we’d become such great friends. But everytime something ‘came up’ and we just didn’t get to meet. He was having a hard time seeing his children (his ex-wife had in the interim got re-married) and he one day made the tough decision to accept a transfer offer to Jhb with his Company.

    Once he had relocated, we spoke a few times, but still never did manage to nail down a meet.

    In any event, on 6 Sept 2009, we had both finally managed to be available to meet. So, we did!! And the friendship we’d had all along without ever meeting each other changed on the same day we met. He asked me to marry him two weeks later and we both just knew that all we needed was to be together.
    We had an impromptu wedding officer marry us with two witnesses present on 10/10/09.

    Blissfully happy can’t even begin to describe how happy we were. But, he had one final wish. He wanted to fulfil our mutual dream of a beach wedding. So, we planned – and executed a beautiful beach wedding with all of our family an friends present on 10/10/10 on the beach where he had grown up – the South coast of KZN. All of our friends and family present were no longer apprehensive about our speedy nuptials as they’d seen with their own eyes, just how happy we’d been over the previous year.

    It was the best day of my life!

    We now continue as he loves to term it – our Beautiful Love Story together with my children (who absoloutely adore him) and now need only to get contact and proper visitations with his children resolved as his ex-wife is very bitter and has to-date been able to deny him this right and remain unaccountable to our legal and justice system. Its only a matter of time and we remain hopeful that one day, one of the umpteenth charges laid against her for denying him access to his children will bear fruit. We have had dockets go mysteriously ‘missing’ – and being in Jhb makes this case so much harder to fight.

    But, amongst the trials and tribulations – the challenges and heart-ache we’ve endured and still do (in terms of his children) – there is a beautiful and undescribable happiness found at last reminding us that ‘it never is too late’ in this life for great things. So, in conclusion, after this long and winding rambling – my year has been just peachy! s

Leave a Reply