Valentines day is coming up and this is The Geek and my first valentines day. Yes scandalous I know, knocked up and ready to pop, unmarried and not even a year together. Oh well
This made me think about second chances. One of the biggest things that I was worried about when coming out of such a disastrous marriage and failed relationship was why I landed up there in the first place and would I be doomed to repeat the cycle as so many others seem to do. Moving from one bad relationship to the next.
I think I can honestly say that by some miracle I managed to find not just a second chance but a soul mate. The things he will do for me, big and small and the way that he treats me just takes my breath away. I know that they are probably what it is supposed to be like, but never having been treated like this, or having someone do little things for me just because they want to boggles my mind.
He honestly thinks I am beautiful, even in my beached whale pregnant state, and I think that to him it is the person he loves and so the outer shell does not matter as much. It is amazing to have someone look at you with appeciation just for who you are, they love your body because it is yours rather than because it is perfect.
He does not mind doing little things for me, he will fetch and bring me anything he thinks will make me more comfortable or help. Especially now I am pregnant, if i forget something in the other room he will without a fuss and at his own suggestion go and get it for me. I am not used to be treated so kindly.
He loves sharing little things with me that he reads or learns about. I love that he is so clever and read and discovers and that he passes this on to the kids too. Life is an adventure of new knowledge and he shows them this all the time. If they ask science or maths questions I can just say – ask Yme 😉
I always have ambicious ideas and plans for things like parties and baby showers or gifts I try make things, with not quite enough time. The Geek never gets cross with me, instead he teases me, tries to channel some of the plans into being more realistic but in the end he will sit up all night with me helping me try finish the mad ideas I have. He just totally accepts that I am like this. He does not moan that it means he spends hour helping me. Everytime he does this I marvel, i have always been like this but was never helped with such loving support.
He helped me make a belly cast – I had to get a friend and my sister to help before as the ex refused. Yme, will help with just about anything, even if he thinks it is a little odd ball, just because he like to see me happy. That my happiness matters so much to him is breath taking.
He loves our kids, and yes I say our. He is their everyday dad. He does not try to replace their dad and they know they have a dad. The contact the ex has is minimal but that is his choice. Yme speaks about my boy and my girl. If you see his comment on this Parent 24 article you will see how much he see his role as important in their lives. He commented under his name and is the avatar that is wearing the Dennis the Menace Jersey 😀 He told me that as long as one of his 3 kids can braai one day he will be happy. I am so glad they have him as a role model, I am sure we will go through ups and downs with the kids and the issues surrounding step-parenting BUT he has not stood back he has jumped in the deep end and works hard to make this family work.
I once heard someone say that they think in every relationship there is the lover and the loved. While I think that for a balanced relationship, this should be fluid and change depending on the time and circumstance, there is a small part of me that think I am so loved that there might not be enough I can do to match the lengths he is willing to go to for me. I love this man with all my heart. It is not a competition to see who demonstrates it more, but i think he wins hands down. I only hope he knows too just how awesome he is and how even though life is hard at time, I am the happiest I have been in ages