Please tell me I am not alone

in my moment of feeling like the worst parent on earth.

We brush teeth like everyone else but I am not been able to afford to take the kids for the 6 month checkups that they are supposed to have, if I am honest it has been a while since they have been to the dentist. But the week of Christmas Rachel complained of one molar being sore when it was brushed, no other time just when brushed. All dentists were closed except for emergencies and it did not bother her the rest of the time so we wait for today when we could get an appointment.

Yme took her as I was waiting for the new deep freeze my mom bought us for Christmas to arrive and I thought she might be better and make less fuss if mom was not there. Well I got a phone call from Yme and with the sounds of Rachel sobbing in the background he says that the tooth has to come out and she is frantic.

I got in the car and went to help. A lovely lady dentist would was very very kind explained that the hole was between the teeth and even filling it would leave root and nerve exposed and sore. She had to have it pulled and then she said that on the x-ray Rachel’s 4 front teeth are not loose and the big teeth are behind the baby roots so not pushing them out, either we had to wriggle them loose and monitor them over the next few months or they had to come out too.

Rachel was a bit frantic about the tooth extraction and the dentist said that she did not want to work on a child who was so upset and that maybe we should think of having it done in theater under general anesthetic and have the front 4 pulled at the same time! Poor child those are great options. Pull now or op later. I kept think there is no way in hell that I can afford theater and that we will just wiggle those teeth like mad, but for now I had to calm her down so that we could do the extraction.

She did agree that she would rather have it done then than have to go to hospital and after much talking and calming and hand holding and crying it was done. The good news is that the rest of the teeth are fine. The dentist said it was between the teeth because of not enough flossing.

Please please tell me that I am not alone in not having flossed my children’s teeth every night?
and how often do your kids go to the dentist and have they ever had holes in their teeth?
Gosh I just feel like a parenting failure

17 thoughts on “Please tell me I am not alone

  1. I wouldn’t stress about it too much. Its no indication of lack of care, affection or love – some things just cannot always be done. This is life, we deal. Hell, I remember getting my first filling when I was 10. It wasn’t my parents’ fault, in fact it was mostly mine for stealing chocolates after bedtime! They love me no less and similarly from my side.

    As the ever wise Phil from Modern Family said, “We like to think we’re so smart, that we have all the answers. And we want to pass that on to our children. But if you scratch beneath the surface, you won’t have to dig deep to find the kid you were, which is why it’s kind of crazy that we’re raising kids of our own. I guess that’s the real circle of life. Your parents faked their way through it. You fake your way through it. And you just hope you didn’t raise a serial killer.”

  2. I hate the dentist. really really. I cry.
    Knowing that I think I have put off taking Aaron to the dentist because of my own issues.
    We dont floss at all yet. Still learning to brush properly.
    I have to take Aaron though and soon.
    P.s. I had 7 (not including wisdoms) teeth extracted as a child, 4 of them adult teeth cause my jaw is too small. I know how awful the extraction can be, in the chair and in theatre. Give R a huge hug from me!

    • Thanks Gina, she was really brave in the end but it is really scary as a kid. Shame at least it is over and we can try do better

  3. Oh dear, no fun. The best we do with our 3 and 5yr old is brush teeth twice daily, often with great protestations .. The don’t even know what a dentist is!
    A friend of mine has a 4 year old girl who needed 5 or 6 fillings six months ago (at 3,5 yr old!) it happens.
    *checks diary to see when best to take kids for an introduction to dental hygiene*

  4. In my experience a lot of dental stuff is inherited so annoying people like me can take herself to the dentist once every 4 years, floss once in a while, and have exactly 1 white filling at 39. My youngest hasn’t been to the dentist yet, others have had checkups but not exactly every 6 months. None of them get their teeth flossed, and I admit to my 5 year old having looked after her own brushing since she was 3.

  5. Oh honey I am so sorry. I had the exact same thing happen to my son sometime during November last year. The dentist was originally going to do fillings but at the time it just made more sense to extract – fortunately it was non-permanent molars. I was horrified because I also only took him to the dentist because he was complaining. I never take him to the dentist because he is ADHD and battles to sit still and not fidget and it makes life very difficult for the dentist if he has to deal with a hyped up kid as well as an anxious Mama.
    Up till today we still don’t floss. I find flossing quite gross and don’t even do it myself. I just bought us a decent mouthwash. Maybe I should introduce floss in 2011.
    Hugs to Rachel. And to you.

  6. I think we as parents get that feeling from time to time. Don’t feel to bad, and I can promise you it will happen again.

  7. Hi. Both of mine have needed fillings but not extractions. My dentist has never recommended flossing for children but does believe in putting a dab of fluoride toothpaste on decay so that it hardens up and then doesn’t need filling. I cannot believe the dentist said you had to wobble Rachel’s teeth – F first tooth didn’t come out until nearly 7 and he is very slowly loosing others. One of his friends has a tooth erupted behind her front teeth which are still in situ. Just like everything else there isn’t only one way to produce adult teeth. I would let nature take its course. Also agree with the person who said that teeth are partly what we inherit. E has Adam’s teeth (not so good) and F has mine (not too bad).

  8. Poor mite. Please send rachel my love. I really don’t think flossing is a reflection of your parenting skills. Flossing is like chopping onions- a necessary evil that needs to be done but few enjoy. I learnt the hard way, had to fork out £400 to the dentist last year, he told me it was because I didn’t floss! You’d think I flossed more… but alas no.
    Lots of love

  9. You are not alone! And how traumatic for Rachel and for you!!

    Isabella has never been to a dentist. We brush her teeth every day but have never flossed. I hope her teeth are ok.

  10. You are not alone in being a parent who does not take their children every 6 months to the dentist. I only take them and myself to the dentist when there is a need to go. Why? Because it is so damn expensive.
    And we as family don’t floss, we only brush our teeth and that is efficient enough.

  11. Don’t feel bad about it, I’ve never flossed and have perfect teeth and my parents never thought about making their kids floss, as long as your kids are brushing their teeth everyday. Every 6 months sounds a bit too often, surely once a year is adequate.

  12. My dentist said that we “should” take our kids from the time they get their first teeth. Oh really??? J got his first tooth at 5 months!! I don’t think the man has any children. I’ve never taken J to the dentist and he is just fine. But I did buy those chewy tabs that stain all the plaque pink after brushing. Being a boy pink teeth are so NOT cool so I’m sorted …. I hope!!

  13. Please, I need to know the dentist who helped you with your kid and how much did she charge.I have a 3.5 year old boy with a problem of milky teeth and I am afraid if I dont do something now the problematic teeth will affect the near teeth and all the way. Please help,anywhere in South Africa I can go.


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