Tomorrow I am getting divorced. I have planned my outfit, found something I look slightly less  pregnant in. No idea why it feels important not to look pregnant but somehow it does. Or maybe I should just wear a tight top and cause the quiet behind the hands whispers. At 16 weeks it is ridiculous to have a bump at all but it is there and a lot of it.

I have some really great friends helping me tomorrow. Andre is coming with me to court and has stood by as a friend as I have fought for this day. I am really glad not to be doing it alone. Suzanne and her 2 lovely kids are watching my pinklets which is a huge help and I am glad not to have to worry about them. I have amazing friends and feel very supported and loved tomorrow.

I am sorry I can’t have a proper celebration drink afterwards. But good timing and planning where never my strong point. I am sure one celebratory champagne would be okay? In a way it feels funny to say celebrate a divorce, after all a broken relationship is nothing to celebrate. But there are times when getting out is the best thing to do, for all concerned. The celebration is not of the failure but of the ability to look forward to new beginnings.

Meat Free Monday

I love cooking and actually have toyed with the idea of being a vegetarian quite a few times, but to be honest I really really like meat and it is always the smell of bacon cooking that stops me. And a life without biltong I might not be able to contemplate. But I think we need to be more aware of the environment and we need to be more careful about the meat we buy and how the animals are farmed.

So I have decided to join Meat Free Monday as we need to cut down on meat for not only environmental reason but because our budget could not actually get any tighter. I of course as with anything have decided to do this today and not really planned it so I don’t actually have a lot of veg in the house. I need to go to fruit and veg later in the week.

It might have to be Mac and Cheese which is probably far from the ideal meat free dish as it has loads of cheese which while not meat is not very animal rights, vegan, or animal anti cruelty etc and I see they all have their logos on the flyer I got about meat free Monday in the post.

So who else is doing this? To Yme’s credit I have done some vegetarian meals before and he has coped rather well, seeing as he is close to believing chicken is a vegetable

There is a website about Meat Free Monday and there is a competition you can enter to win a 7 night holiday. Go check it out.

So he has a girlfriend!

It was Rachel’s birthday on Friday. I asked ex to please send her a card as I was supposed to get the gift for her. He was offshore and moaned he could not do it in time. But then the next time he phoned he told her he had posted her a card and she was so excited. No matter what happens between him and I and who thinks who is to blame or who feels more hard done by, I was always dissapointed that he never posted them anything. It costs next to nothing to post a birthday or Christmas card or even a letter but nothing. I have things the kids made but was never given an address to send it to. I got one address and then was told not to use it as he was moving. I finally resorted to sending a card to my aunt in England who he is friends with.

So today we go to the post office after checking all of last week and there is a parcel slip for her. I don’t recognise the writing and wonder who could have sent it. We open it and it is from ex, well it is written in a woman’s hand writing and lots of loving words ex would never write himself and is signed Daddy and Lucy.

So the first we get to know of the girlfriend is a name in a card. Shew that needed a bit of explaining. Don’t get me wrong I am delighted that he has moved on. I wish them the best. I hope we both do a better job this time around in our new relationships. I just think he should have prepared her. I had millions of questions I had no idea how to answer. I wish he would spend some time telling her about his life rather than drilling her as to if I am doing enough school work with her.

But it does make sense as to why he has not been obstructional about the divorce anymore. Everyone said it was because I was knocked up, but he started cooperating before I announced anything so I think maybe the new woman has motivated him to get this done.

And on that note, this time next week I am DIVORCED! Yay wow it has been a long long fight.

Twitter, is there a limit to what should be tweeted?

I remember catching the tail end if discussion on Twitter about stuff people thought should not be tweeted about – over sharing. One person said that someone was rather frowned on because she tweeted during a miscarriage. I said I might tweet in a similar situation as it is a time you need support.

Little did I know that a few weeks later, this would be me. I started bleeding last week, you can read the while story on (where are my pants) I did tweet, and I received the most overwhelming support and good wishes. For me it made it easier to go through, knowing I had support and people who cared.

So what do you think, is there an over share on Twitter, should some stuff be off limits?

Can you help???

I was visiting my friend yesterday and she was telling me about these gymnasts at their club that walk 15km to and from training and come from nothing yet are trying to make something with their lives. They have a chance to go to Pretoria and compete in the South African Gym Games. I hope that by putting this out there more people might see it and be able to help. If you can’t personally help maybe you can also blog about it, just never know who might see and be able to help.

I really believe that through sport and giving kids a purpose we have a way to make things better in this country.

help gymnasts

If you can’t read it clearly or need more details please contact me.

Moving, many hands make lighter work

moving house
When I was growing up I only moved once when I was 5, the rest of my life we spent in one house and it was very stable. I went to one primary school and one high school. The first time I moved after that was when I went to university in Jhb. Since then I have moved a ridiculous number of times. Now when we move at the end of the month it will have been the 17th move in 16 years, not very stable at all. At least 4 of those moves were overseas so not just a small trip around the corner.

The kids have each moved quite a few times in their lives. I am really looking forward to making the house my own and putting down roots. I am delighted that after years of renting I can finally paint Rachel’s room for her. She has wanted her own space for such a long time now. I am not sure how Caleb will take being on his own but it will be nice to make transport bedroom for him with tractors and all

Moving really has to be one of the most stressful things ever. This will be the 3rd time I have moved pregnant! But this time I am promised that all the hard work will be done for me. The best part will be having space for stuff so we don’t have to fall over each other and stuff like we d at the moment. We don’t have fancy furniture, or stuff, but we will have a place that we can start making our own and buying stuff for. Now I just want the time until end of October to fly.

I found this link to 11 ways to survive the stress of moving.

Did you move a lot?

New Tattoo in the planning

Okay so after establishing that I can not get a tattoo in pregnancy. I am resigned to wait until after the birth. It seems that while worried of hepatitis and stuff are unfounded now as a reputable places only use sterilized equipment and new needles, they worry seems to be about the ink and the stress hormones that might affect the baby. That I can understand, not that I find tattooing very stressful but still better safe than sorry.

Breast feeding seems to be another issue, Le Leche League seeme to think that the ink particles were too big to pass into breast milk so from that point of view it was fine. There was some question about infection, although systemic infection from tattoo’s is rare now a days. The only issue that might arise is the again the stress hormones might affect the milk and the way it tastes. I think i might wait until pinkgeekbaby is 6 months and on solids and then pump before I go and use that milk afterwards and then pump and dump the few feeds after just to be sure. My children breast feed for 2 years and I can not wait that long!

This is what I want
Triple spiral

a Celtic symbol that represents life’s main triads in eternal movement and balance, like birth, life and death, body, mind and soul or sky, sea and earth.
According to Uriel’s Machine by Knight and Lomas (2003) the triple spiral may represent the nine month period of human pregnancy, since the sun takes a fourth of a year to go from the celestial equator (an equinox) to extreme north or south declination (a solstice), and vice versa. During each three-month period, the sun’s path appears to form a closely-wound quasi-helical shape, which can be likened to a spiral, so that three spirals could represent nine months, providing an explanation for a link between fertility and the triple-spiral symbol.

I want to put each of the kids names in one of the spirals, no idea where I am going to put it though – ideas?


Now that is not a word that I thought I would be saying once I was in a relationship and happy, but there it is. I am really lonely. In a very different way than before, I am not alone in a relationship sense. I have Yme and we talk and we do stuff and it is good, that part of me that wanted to sharing something with someone is fulfilled but I left a lot of other support behind.

This is going to sound like such a moaning feeling sorry for myself post and it is not intended as such, it is just feelings that I have inside and for me the best thing to do with my feelings is to write them down. I hope by getting them out I will feel a little less like I am going to burst into tears. Yes I know most of it can just be take with a pinch of pregnant hormone salt, but it does not make it feel any less acute.

I am a social person. I do not need large groups or to be the center of a crowd, in fact I can be quite shy until I know people better, but what I do need is a group of close friends around me who I see quite often and develop a close bond with. I like the village idea of raising kids, I think having people come and go regularly in a child’s life is good,

In Pretoria we stayed in a house next door to my parents we saw them everyday, when my mom was not working away from home she would take the kids for a few hours to play with them, read to them and just generally be a cool granny. My dad would help bath them in the evenings and read to them and cuddle them. My domestic was there 3 times a week, giving me chance to get my hair done or go to the post office without the kids in tow all the time, and most importantly a chance to get some work done. I could afford her because my parents did not charge me rent ( yes I was very very luck I know, I would never have made that year without my parents unwaivering support)

Then my awesome friend and business partner Barbara and I saw each other at least twice a week where we would discuss business, life, relationships, kids and just general girl gossip. We are very different but it is sometime really nice to get a different point of view and out kids have been friends since birth. They play so well together they disappear off 2 by 2 the big ones together and the younger ones together and they play so nicely. We used to swap kids a couple of times a week so we each got a chance to get stuff done. We watched chick flicks together, like Sunshine Cleaners and Twighlight that no one else would want to watch. Our kids slept over at each other often and were very comfortable being at each others houses.

Laura would pop in a couple of times a week after work, we did things together on the weekend, even if it was just a picnic in the park so the kids could play and we could get out a bit. Wine afternoons and braai’s in Ansie’s garden with her boys was always fun. Barbara and Laura and their gangs would also be there.

Sharon and her son would drop in and even after they moved to Badplaas we still saw them at least once a month. Coffee and chat with Sharon and catching up on all the comings and goings in peoples lives was fun. It is these sort of social interactions that feed my soul. I love seeing my friends and relaxing and chatting and being there. These woman were there for me through some incredibly tough times and I miss them.

I know it would not be the same if we were there. Yes my family and their support would still be there, but Barbara has moved and Sharon has moved but boy I miss these people.

People have been very kind in CT but the same kind of close support and seeing each other all the time is not here in Cape Town for us yet. I know it will take time for us to meet people and to find friends that we can see often. I guess having my good friend Ghilraen here this week has reminded me how lonely my weeks usually are. It is just me and the kids most days. Ghilraen is in PE but was my sanity in the UK we lived close by and saw each other most days, we also stood with each other through some tough times together. I have cried, laughed, smiled, been heart broken, been happy and seen life and death with these women and I miss them.

I hope in time we find such people here in CT because I don’t do well alone. I am a talker I need to talk and moan and laugh and share, always make the burden of being a parent easier. Being alone all day with 2 small people all day and one beings to loose perspective a bit.

Moan over, shopping to do…


It seems fitting somehow that on spring day 1 September I got all sorts of news but the 2 big ones are

The lawyer’s office phoned and we have a court date. 29 September, yay in less than a month a year and a half’s worth of fighting is finally over. I can hardly believe it. Does a party sound crude? It is just such an immense relief to finally get it over. I have no idea why this paper means so much as it really does not change anything but somehow it seems important. Besides in rather a humorous way, it would be nice to go to court before I look like I swallowed a melon. Now I need to find a kid sitter for the day and a friend to come sit with me. I am sure I will be fine alone but it will be nice to have a bit of moral support.

We found out that pinkgeekbaby is in fact only one and not 2 as was feared, but I am just fat and showing big for only 12 weeks. The story is on the other blog

So all round good news. In other news we decided to go for the house in Melkbos and will be moving at the end of October. I am really looking forward to having our own house and am thinking about all the things I can finally do with my own space. Rainwater butt, veg garden, solar panels, etc ooh I can make a little eco house! Besides I get to paint ( eco paint of course) but I love colour, I wonder if Yme is ready for all the colour 😉