Girls don’t pooh

Yes yes I am well aware that you all know we do, but knowing and knowing are two different things. I have a total phobia of the need to go anywhere but at what constitutes home at the time and no one can be around.

I once went to Botswana for 4×4 salt pans holiday where we slept in tents and had a spade to head off into the bushes with when the toilet was required. Needless to say I did not go for 5 days. Could not! It is just not possible to take the spade and head off into the bush when everyone knows what you are going to do.

Imagine a change in wind direction, I die at the very thought. The problem seems to be that when I am in a situation that I am not 100% comfortable, my brain and my anal sphincter (sorry for the TMI – the nurse in me) seem to drop signal and there is just no communication between the two. So imagine heading off into the bush with your spade and returning HOURS later. Not only does everyone know what you have been doing they know that it took ages. The idea of such mortification means the whole lot comes to a grinding halt. Not healthy I know but well some connection problems are easier solved than my brain and butt.

This slight neurosis of mine extends to when people are staying with me. I will go across to my moms house next door and use the toilet there. And I know that I am not the only one. Sheena blogged about it on Female2Female and I remember a varsity friend who was so conscious of toilet noises that she had perfected the angle at which to aim yourself and used layers of toilet paper just not the make a sound when weeing! So why on earth do I feel the need to share this now?? Well I am leaving on a road trip with 4 other people tomorrow… Oh shit!