10 things


The female2female blog challenge this week is 10 things. Any 10 thing. Laura did  10 thing she wants to do before she dies, but I sort of did that in this post so I decided to be scare you all away with soppy. Damn I can’t believe you all survived my emo and now the soppy. I am truly sorry but here goes

10 things I love about you

  1. You are intellegent and I love talking to you, we have such interesting conversations, you never make me feel dumb even when I don’t know much about a topic.
  2. You send me an sms when you go to bed, which is always after me, so when I wake up in the morning I get to read that you love me and reminding me to do my sit-ups.
  3. You support me as a mom and tell me I am doing a good job and how loved my kids are, you understand how I want to do things and the sense of failure I have not quite being where I would like to be.
  4. You believe in me, you offer support and are so willing to help, but you tell me how you know with or without you I can do it. You don’t need me to feel dependent and understand how important it is for me to feel a sense of financial independence.
  5. You are flying up all the way from CT just to help me drive down with the kids.
  6. You do not want to change me in anyway, I feel no pressure to be anyone but myself.
  7. You are willing to be involved with the kids and help me but honest enough to say it you need time out for a while.
  8. You like being silly with me and I love how much we laugh when we are together.
  9. You are following your dream and love what you do
  10. You look into my eyes and I know that I am loved.

Titles – please can we move on from the dark ages!!?!?!?

I was in the bank on Friday and I noticed that the title they have down for me is Mrs. I never changed my maiden name and always chose to be called Ms. I see no reason for it to be public knowledge of a woman’s marital status in a title. Men get to just be Mr all there lives no one makes a fuss about anything changing if they are married. It is not a case of being proud or not of ones status it has to do with the inequality if the change of status is only noted for one gender.

The overtones of a very patriarchal male dominated society is still so apparent in the differentiation still made for woman. I asked on twitter and a lot of woman agreed. The problem is not only the the title has the feeling of being a badge of ownership the other problem is that in our society of complex relationships the title which is supposed to give information is redundant.

I am not Miss, as in a never marriage available female and i am not Mrs either, I am separated and desperately wanting to be divorce, but be that as it may, why does what I am matter to anyone?? What if like a friend, I was married and then widowed, she is no longer her title. When they cease to be useful and have the glaring inequality that men’s marital status is not denoted then I think it is time to move on.

Miss and Mrs should just be replaced by the non specific Ms no confusion, no getting it wrong, no feeling like in some ways it denotes ownership and no one needing to feel hurt by their title when it is a reminder of loss and grief.

When Ms. magazine was born, the editors explained, “Ms. is being adopted as a standard form of address by women who want to be recognized as individuals, rather than being identified by their relationship with a man.”

Rant over, I am not a raging feminist and I do like to be treated well, I just think that these titles have lost all meaning and relevance.

One word

I got this email from Wenchy so thought I would just do it here, I am not going to forward it but copy and do it if you like

Not as easy as you might think! Now forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to only use one word answers. Be sure to send back to the person you received it from!
Where is your cell phone? Desk
Significant other? Aequitas
Your hair? Pink
Your mother? Sue
Your father? David
Your favorite thing? Love
Your dream last night? Blank
Your favorite drink? Coffee
What room are you in? Study
Your hobby? Writing
Your fear? Dependence
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Enough
Where were you last night? home
Something that you aren’t? Patient
Muffins? Blueberry
Wish list item? Perfume
Last thing you did? Typed
What are you wearing? t-shirt
TV? None
Your pets? Stanley
Friends? Guardian Angels
Your life? Roller-coaster
Your mood? Overwhelmed
Missing someone? Forever
Drinking? Rooibos
Your car? Silver
Something you’re not wearing? Earrings
Your favorite store? Big Blue
Your favorite color? Pink
When is the last time you cried? Yesterday
Where do you go to over and over? ‘what-if”
My favorite place to eat? Home
Favourite place I’d like to be at right now? Cape Town
Here’s what you are supposed to do…and please don’t spoil the fun…Hit ‘forward,’ delete my answers, type in your answers and send it to a bunch of people, including me – Wenchy here you go, my answers 😉

Oh boy look what I won!!!

Being Brazen had a competition on her blog to win these gorgeous chocolates from The Chocolate Club. Can you believe I won them!!

They arrived today, how gorgeous are they!
Thanks Janine and thank you The Chocolate Club

beautiful box,chocolate club

chocolate club packaging

chocolate club

I so badly want to share them with Aequitas that I promised I would wait until he was here again and we could enjoy them together – what have I done?!?!?!?! How on earth am I going to wait with these around? Anyone know how to wire jaws closed?

Pet Names – Oh no Yuck!

I have 101 things to do, Earth Babies and all the stock and ordering etc has landed at my house with a vengeance. Although I now have a system I think I can manage, it has been a bit of an adjustment. I have 3 articles to write and crazy project to plan and a million other things to do, yet here I am blogging. Why? Why, would I take time out of my hectic life and come and do what some people would consider wasting time. This will not be the first time nor the last time I say that I write because I have to. I write because with all the thoughts and feelings swimming around in my head they competing for attention, if I get them all out I might have a few moments of clarity in which can work again – well that is always the hope, until the next crazy thoughts and ideas jossel for space in my small brain that is.

So after that rather long preamble what I am going to write about is a tad soppy so feel free to skip the nausea inducing text that follows.

I was with my ex for 8 years and never once did he ever say that he loved me, in fact I don’t think he really truly loves anyone in this world but his daughter. I convinced myself that I was not the soppy type and that I did not really like pet names, holding hands and all the other signs of affection. I can’t only blame my ex I think I was like that with a lof of my previous partners, maybe not quite as bad but still. You see I am a very very physical person, I love to be touched but I come from a rather emotionally reserved family so there is the dicotomy between what I know through habit and upbring and my natural tendency to want to be emotional, touchy and rather soppy.

Would have known that I would become a ‘get-a-room’ kind of gal, that I would love holding hands and being called “Love” would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I never knew feeling loved by someone in an uncomplicated normal way could feel so good.

There are times when I think that my reserved upbringing, and not being used to be loved in a relationship, makes me occasionally draw back, retreat and try sabotage things. I am good at that, I am good at breaking relationships, but this time, this time is different! I do sometimes transfer my weight onto the back foot as I contemplate turning on my heels and running. But I stop myself and I look at what I have and why I want to run and I realize that my own sense of self worth is often to blame. My own sense of ‘oh shit, my life is way too complicated for anyone’ (Please do not think that I was not loved as a child, I was very loved my parents are just not very physical towards each other so it is not something I have seen as a child.)

But then I get the sms that make me smile all the way to the inside of me, the ones that fill a place so deep inside that I did not know it was empty. I feel loved but never caged, anchored but never bounded. Aequitas loves me, he believes in me and most of all he allows me to be as independent as I need to be. He know it is important to me, he knows I need to security of feeling I can manage on my own, but I only have to ask and he is more than willing to help. If I want to move very heavy bookcases and he says “go for it,  if I was there I would help you but I know you can do it , I believe in you.” Sometimes I do silly forgetful things like leave my car open with the keys in the ignition whileIi go into the shop, he never makes me feel stupid he just says – “try remember becasue I worry about you, you are special to me.”

Pac Man Bookcase The distance is hard, but I think it helps me to get used to being loved and to know that it is something I really want. I miss him when he is not here and I can’t wait to tell him things and share the arb details about my day. Besides we both love the Pac-Man bookcase!

One of the things that I think heals me the most is not only being loved but learning to love back and seeing how good I can make someone else feel too. The circle of love.

I googled pet name and while most of the name on this list still make me feel a little queasy, I am learning

Pet Names for Boys Pet Names for Girls
Bubby Amazing
Squishey Dove
Puppie Pot Baby Bear
Dumpling Birdie
Honey Bunch Beautiful
Silver Baby Doll
Hot Stuff Bubbles
Chocolate Daisy
Pumkin Butterfly
Sugams Dollie
Hunk Charmy
Lovey Dovey Heartbeat
Poubelle Cookie
Darling Jelly
Bunnie Cutie
Hubby Buttercup
Sparky Candie
Prince Angel
Soul Mate Diamond
Amore Blossom
Chico Dimples
Winky Curly
Silver Flower
Flame Cherry
Hearty Gorgeous
Lover Pie Fruity
Goldie Juicy
Joy Cuddly

So pet names: bring them on!