I have been avoiding writing this post for a while. Something happens when you have a blog, everything becomes a potential blog post and this idea has popped into my head a few times when talking to friends over the past few months. I kept putting it off thinking that when I had something profound to say I would be able to do the topic justice, but the epiphany never came. The problem with this topic is that it can seem so cliché to just say “hell yes, you risk all for love.”
Last night on twitter a few of the girls were talking about the movie City of Angels (possible spoiler, so don’t read further if you have not seen the movie and still want to) and it got me thinking again about how much should we risk for love. I cried in that movie, they found that love, the one we all look for and then just like that it was gone, should he have risked so much for such a short time? Can love be measured in time, or rather in how it makes your heart feel and your soul sing?
I asked the question on twitter about what we should risk for love and the answers varied from everything to nothing. But the one reply that got me thinking was Lisa Troy’s answer : “The problem isn’t what we risk for love it’s that we risk for the illusion the other person offers us. That’s the tragedy.”
There is some truth in this, we often look to others to offer us the dream, the happiness we seek, but this has the potential for disaster. I don’t think another person should be responsible for your happiness, they should add to it. I believe that real love, where the person is enough as they are and all you have to be is yourself, is worth risking a lot for.
For me as someone who has always been a bit cynical and skeptical of love, the biggest risk is in the loving itself. We don’t use the word ‘falling’ in love for nothing, there is a process of abandonment of rational thought that is needed to fall, a loss of control is implied. This can be blindly terrifying as the outcome no matter how sure you were when you took the leap is always to a degree uncertain. But wow that falling feeling is great!
So what do you think, what should you risk for love?