So the first contribution is from a guy – well done for being willing to share. Come on ladies we need some from the girls point too. After a discussion on twitter it became even more apparent to me that this is something we need to talk about and share info on.
When pinkhairgirl sent out her request for vibrator reviews to the girls, it occured to me that these days, vibrators are hardly used exclusively for girls wanting a little private time. It’s just as much a part of a happy sex life as a couple (I think). So maybe, it’s time for a review of vibrators from that perspective: what is best to use together with a partner.
I’m sure girl-girl couples have a wider repertoire of course, but this review is written by a straight male, so I’ll be focussing on the toys that work in a heterosexual couple, based on my own experience only.
As it happens, no less than three of my past lovers got their first vibrators after I introduced it to them as part of couple play, I suppose that is not as uncommon as one may think. Like many men of my generation, I grew up masturbating to porn where solo women were usually enjoying toys. Along with sneaking secret reads at cosmo, we came to see vibrators, dildo’s and other sexual toys as just a part of a happy woman’s sex life,
for me, none of the stigma’s formerly associated with them ever really existed, I loved the idea.
The very first time I bought a vibrator, it was with my first serious girlfriend. She was nervous but excited – it was also her first visit to an adult store. I think it helps that the attendant was female, that probably did more to put her at her ease than anything I could have said. We spent nearly an hour browsing the shelves, she was … nervous of anything too unusual, and opted for an smooth-shafted toy.
These are frequently chosen I understand as first-time devices, because they are simply non-threatening. Penis-like but not too much, somewhat more subtle. She loved it, and soon we had two. Her way of using them very quickly evolved into using them together. One for clitoral stimulation, one for penetration. The combination was, according to her, the most ideal sexual stimulation you could get. It generally made her crave a penis to replace the inserted one after a while – which as a couple, is just about the perfect outcome.
The second girl I went toyshopping with, was perhaps even more nervous that first time, but certainly more excited. Once more smooth and simple won the day, but this time – one of the kit-sets with various rubber
sleeves (and a small bullet vibrator included)… we spent a very delightful evening trying out all the attachments. Over time, those would fall into neglect, her prefered method came to be – the bullet with the smooth shaft. It also generated in her a fantasy for the biggest vibrator she could imagine… to be stretched beyond what any man could do.
I bought her that one, it was probably as thick as my fore-arm and would remained one of her favorite toys for years. My advice here, as discovered by accident is that if you want the big stuff, go for the jelly-moulded
ones, their softer feel and texture are much more likely to give pleasure rather than pain. “The big pink toy” as it was known did not only get a lot of action, it had enormous visual appeal to watch for me, and she even
liked to suck on it during sex to live out threesome fantasies.
Of course, toys aren’t only for girls, and along the way, I always tried to encourage girls to pick one out for me as well – thus far, without success. Most girls even if they were open to the idea of their man also using toys, seemed to dislike the idea of anything that can be penetrated (perhaps they felt threatened). Only one such toy was ever bought with a girl’s approval (it’s nice though, if you want to spoil your boy – the jelly-like
hand-held vagina’s are nice – and I’ve heard very good things about the fleshlight range, though I haven’t tried them myself yet).
Toys are also, one of the best ways to introduce a nervous but eager girl to the joys of anal play, furhtermore if the man is not homophobic… it’s one of the few things that can be really shared in the toy-store (obviously, proper care should be taken for higiene and safety reasons, using toys well-cleaned with condoms etc. as appropriate to the specific kind). Anal-beads feel amazing to both genders, as do buttplugs, and if she’s really aggressive and you are openminded enough… a strap-on buttplug can be a wonderful way to
reverse the roles a little 😉
The most recent toy I bought for a girl, was with somebody whose eagerness was completely overshadowed by feelings of catholic guilt and shyness… she wanted nothing to do with the selection process. So I made the choice, referring to numerous other reviews – I opted for what is roundly and repeatedly rated the best of the best. The rabbit/dolphin type with an attachment on top to provide clitoral stimulation. It soon became one of her favorite posessions in the world, as soon as she got used to it, she loved it. When she was particularly in the mood, she would really enjoy it inside her vagina during anal sex as well. It has enormous visual appeal for the man, provides that “perfect combination” that since the very first part of this review seems to be a mainstay of what girls seek in toys and because it’s a penetrating one, it’s one a man can use on a woman (obviously – know her responses, and don’t hurt her or go to deep/fast too soon) – which is always a thrill.
I have had more limited experience with other kinds, like the wearable types – but the bit I had was rather dissapointing. While I’m sure many women love them, they seem to be more of a niche-market. One kind though that should never be underestimated is remote controlled ones. “The toy” as it’s known is a remarkable example because it’s bluetooth control means the man you give the control to, could be a country away. The idea of course is to be surprised, a touch of submission, and the joy of orgasms unexpectedly, in the middle of conversations or a board meeting, at his whim.
Some clever inventor really needs to come up with a similar design for men, after all… sometimes we like to be the submissive one too…
So there it goes, my run-down of couple-use toys and what has worked best over the years in my experience. Hopefully, if you’re a couple thinking of your first collective purchase, it will give you some idea of what to look for. I highly recomend the types which are penetrating with a clitoral stimulator as the ideal first-time toys, while most women start off with the smooth, slim variety – they have invariably opted to add a second one for clitoral stimulation within a very short period, it’s just easier and cheaper to get both in one, not to mention that it leaves you with a free hand for when your man invariable starts begging you to touch him too…
Thanks this is much appreciated – Pinkhairgirl