And who would ever have suspected that they would all come from a piece of paper handed out at the robots? Ja you know the ones that get cram into your face if you have you window down by even a millimeter. Now what is a nice pink haired eco mom to do? I want to use the aircon as little as possible – but having to fight off papers and worse being thrust at me whenever I stop is not cool. However on this occasion apparently the planets conspired so that I had my window down to receive my paper of enlightenment.
Some dude in Centurion for R200 with rather shocking sentence construction and grammar will do all the following for you. Bear in mind that he is a healer that will read your face and destiny using the Ancient method of checking through water and a mirror enabling him to tell you all your problems before you mention them to him.
So this is the fun part his specialties include:
* bring back your lost lover even if you broke up long ago – what you mean all of them? no really some are best left well in the past thanks so much
*Remove the bad spell from your life which keeps taking away – Shit so it is a bad spell that took those damn book case screws and the other things that go missing in this place, do you think this works for the mysterious missing socks too?
* Find out what’s holding you from progressing in life –seeing as I have done more things that I have never done before I think my progress is just peachy thanks
* Get you married to that love of your life in a short time and seal up your marriage with eternal love and happiness –sounds a bit like polyfiller, but no really can I just get divorced first please.
*Ensure success as you get rich quickly – why are riches and success always synonymous?
* Stop your marriage or affair from breaking apart – too late
* Masai Remedy Xtra for enlarging the breasts to a size D naturally – NOW you tell me! After I paid so much for these lovely silicon one and all I needed was masai root juice.
*Masai remedy for tightening the breast making them firmer to the size of your choice permanently – okay so explain how on one person you are growing D size knockers and on the other you are shrinking them to whatever they want, I guess it must be like something from Harry Potter you have to say a little spell first or say I wish I wish I wish for X size Boobs, any takers ladies?
and there was more but really what more could I want, bigger boobs, polyfiller romance and loads of money and all this for R200, bargain! So if anyone is tempted and wants all these great things just email me on firstname.lastname@example.org