Discussions with Rachel

I needed to tell the kids about my op on Thursday, I was not avoiding it as such I just had not told them and was a little unsure how to explain it, but as time was drawing near I took the plunge on Sunday afternoon in the car. Well it was more for Rachel than Caleb as he is a bit young to understand. I tell her that I am going to have an operation to make my boobs bigger. She wants to know why. Gosh this is quite hard to explain to actually so I went with the idea that I don’t have much left after breast feeding and that ladies clothes don’t fit all that well without boobs. She seems okay with this answer and is more worried about not being with me and wants to know if she can come into the operation with me. After much tears about being left behind, she seems happy to drop the subject.

My mom was in hysterics recounting a conversation between Rachel and her dad, when he phoned that night. She told him that Mommy was having an operation on her Boobies. He must not have heard the first time because then she yells – ‘On her BOOBIES – to make them bigger as ladies clothes are not made for small Boobies and don’t fit properly – you know Dad’

She does not like the idea that I will be in pain and that she will not be able to be rough with me. She is worried about how she will hug me. But the idea that we all get to go for a sleepover, for a few days, at her best friend Rafe’s seems to be making up for all these negatives.

While I was in the shower this morning she looks at me and says – “Mommy your Boobies are even smaller than before” this is true, since I stopped breast feeding Caleb the little I had is totally gone. She then says ‘they are such teeny tiny Boobies Mommy – like mine’ Nothing like a child’s honesty to make you feel great first thing in the morning – oh well it made me more sure I want to go through with this.

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