Not such a great day

Today was one of those days when the reality of my situation really hit me. Most of the time you just carry on, life is busy and experiences happen. You just go with where life takes you, even if sometimes the timing of things leaves a lot to be desired.

But then there are days which are not so good, maybe it was the fact that the day started with taking Rachel to a course for divorced kids. Not exactly the type of social group and course that one pictures happening in your child’s life when you have them. Knowing that no matter how much you are doing the right thing that there are casualties in this process. That despite your best efforts they are going to get hurt. Sometime even though you know being selfish and doing what is right for yourself will have the best outcome for everybody in the end, it is hard to think that my decisions change their reality. And yes I truly believe that it will be for the best but no kid walks away from divorce unscathed. To heal yourself you hurt them, but not being true to yourself damages you all more in the end anyway.

The rest of the day I was reminded of being alone. I should be so used to it by now. With my ex having worked on an oil rig for so much of the time I used to go to a lot of social events on my own with the kids. Even when he was with me, there was no connection, no signs of affection, no bond. It was as lonely with him there as it was without.

Now that I am out the other side, I see how much I crave to have that connection with someone. I am tired of doing it all alone and yet I don’t just want a relationship for the sake of it. I long to share who I am with someone. I want that person who is not only a practical help but whose eyes catch you across the room and you know you are theirs and that you share you lives willingly and totally. I want the person who comes and puts their arms around me and shows how much they love me.

As I said it is not a good day, the reality is very different and there is no point is spiralling myself down thinking of all that could be different. I have the most amazing people in my life who love me and for the rest I will wait…

My pink day

If there is anyone who understands my desire for pink hair it is my good friend Janine. She has the most awesome purple hair. The kids and I went to Klerksdorp to visit Janine and her family. The mission: to catch up with a great friend and to have my hair done with permanent pink rather than the wash out stuff I had been using to date. Her Aunty has a salon next to her house and they had ordered some special dye for me.

Well Mission accomplished. We had such a great trip, only pity was that it was just too short. Janine is one of my on line chat buddies who has become a real life best friend. She and her wonderful hubby and 2 beautiful girls made our stay so much fun.

Sitting up late, drinking sherry and chatting with a friend who loves you just the way you are and understands the need to be a little different is so precious. Life at the moment is anything but easy but it is people like Janine that carry you through.

So from 10am-3pm this is what I did

Blond highlights (the highlights that this pink is done on were put in at the beginning of May so my roots are in much need of help.)
pink hair
pink hair

pink hair
pink hair

Left over hair dyed my natural colour:
pink hair

Coffee and wait:
pink hair

Rince. (Can you belive my hair was the same colour as my daughters when I was a kid?)
pink hair
pink hair

The blond before the pink:
pink hair

Adding pink:
pink hair
pink hair

Wait:
pink hair

Rince again:
pink hair
look at Nicci’s hands!
pink hair

Cut:
pink hair

Blow dry:

pink hair
pink hair

The end:
pink hair
pink hair
pink hair
I hate the way my nose wrikles up when I smile, I have been told it is cute – maybe it is in the eye of the beholder
pink hair

A huge thanks to Janine for organising this for me and helping look after my kids during the day. And to Nicci at Salon Gigi thanks a million I totally love it!!!