Yme had mentioned earlier in the week to leave Sunday free as we were going to get in the car and just drive. Well 6am rolled around and I was awake, Caleb was awake and we decided to do it. We woke sleeping beauty who just wanted to see if the tooth fairy had actually brought her money as her first tooth had finally fallen out.
You can read all about the tooth and the tooth fairy on the kids blog - The Pinklets

We all bundled into the car and drove, we stopped to watch the sun come up at an Engen service station that had a little pond and trees and a view of TM, it was all very pretty. We then went on to Saldahna where we stopped on the beach for a little while and then went in search of breakfast in Langeban, we found a wonderful place with sea views and all had a great breakfast as we were starving by this time. We then took the kids down to the beach to play.

Caleb was a little cautious at first but the were soon running and dancing in the water. Rachel got totally soaked, she even sat in the water. But they had so much fun, it took ages to coax them away promising to stop at Melkbossstrand on the way home for ice-cream which we did.

All in all it was a fantastic day, I love being spontaneous and I love that Yme likes to do these type of things too. There seems to be an issue about getting the photos off my camera onto the new computer so sorry this is a few days late. I am not a photographer at all and some of the cell phone ones are a bit rubbish but I love these people so here they are

Sunrise

Tractor sign for Caleb

The 2nd toilet stop

Saldanha

First Beach Langeban

Caleb

Rachel ( playing in the water was not enough, she needed to sit in it – did no one tell this child it was winter!)

Ice-cream at Melkbosstrand

When we have Skype I will make sure they Skype more, I will get him to make a Father’s day card for G. I thought maybe I should get a photo from him and put it in the kid’s room? Maybe I could ask G to email them with pics of where he is and what he is doing, so they can get a better idea and see more pics of him? Any other ideas? Or do I just leave it and let them work it out as he gets older?

Oh my word what did we do before the internet? I am an extrovert, not in the sense that I need big crowds or that I need to be the center of a huge party but in the way that I draw my energy from people. I like to be around people and talking and feeding off them as my one friend put it. So for me to have moved and have no internet is like torture. I love my kids endlessly but they can be a real drain on my energy when I have little other interaction during the day. So the move to Cape Town has meant not only less of my friends around but also no internet has cut me off from my on line support. I am not sure I realized quite how much I needed the people I chatted to on twitter and those who’s blogs I read and using my own blog to chat to others and get my thoughts out.

A few little hiccups have meant that we have been rather challenged in the getting internet.
- Helkom who said we could have a ADSL line no problem when we got the phone line now suddenly have no ports and will not be putting any more infrastructure in place before next year! If you ask me they have so over stretched themselves with the World Cup that they have no more money for the basic stuff. Having no internet and an on line business is not very helpful
- so the next obvious choice is Wireless, we called a few places for a site survey and guess what, luck would have it was have 2 big ass trees in that directly block the 2 hills that the antenna are on that transmit the signal, so that is not an option.
- 3G it is then for now, but we are both MTN and this is a crap signalk area for MTN so we have to get a vodacom card Ricca it and try use it that way, easy? No not quite, have you ever tried to change yiour address before one of the suckers will give you an address change, no i can prove my address with a bill before on of you will give me a bill with my address!!!
- On top of that my cell phone that I could tweet with got stolen, it was one of the worst things, it was given to me as a gift by an amazing person that I am not allowed to name and it is so much worse when a gift gets stolen than something you bought yourself, I was gutted.
- Then my lap top broke
- The home phone broke

It was basically just an all round communication technology fail. I now have a new pink laptop, a new HTC Desire phone, we have a new home phone and have resigned ourselves to 3G, although the fight with the parasite, I mean para-statal Telkom. continues!

The communication front has not been great, and the move has been a big adjustment for the kids however I know it sounds corny but I am loved.
I throw wobbly and I am loved,
I have PMS and terrible cramps that double me over and I am loved and looked after,
I go to a parenting forum get together and Yme comes with me.
I am getting used to the fact that he wants to do stuff with me and that he is not going to shout at me and that he actually likes to help organise stuff and shop for the house.
He likes having people over. He might not be an extrovert like me and he needs space alone but he knows my need for people and he accommodates that. He never makes me feel guilty for wanting or needing people.
He tells me he loves me, he even whispers it to me when he thinks I am asleep and can’t hear.
He loves me just the way I am.

I have missed you all, what has everyone been up to? I hope to be here more from now on. I have also started a blog for the kids for their news and home school stuff. www.pinklets.wordpress.com which I hope to be able to update a bit more now that we have some internet albeit not the best fastest or cheapest.

the picture Sharon took

Yme took this one on the road trip – it was a really happy time

My first trip to CT as PHG, Andre took this pic at Cape point

Jeanette took this at the Ladies on Lunch on Jhb.

I love this one of the kids and I that Marc took

5 things I like about me:
- I am not afraid to be different ( I love my pink hair) but I do things because I want to and they feel right to me rather than just to be different for different sake
- I am very fond on the new boobs and I am proud of the old ones for breast feeding 2 kids
- I have quite nice legs although the thighs and bum have spread a little over the years.
- I like my hands, they are not the strongest or the prettiest but I genuinely like helping people and they make that possible, I will go out of my way for my friends.
- I like my mouth, I love being kissed and I love the words and the power of words that my mouth gives me the chance to say, if I could just get my brain to slow down and be more consciously aware not to interrupt people. I know I do it but I never realize it at the time.

I nominate Sharon, AcidicIce, Angel ,Jeanette, Laura

Yes TMI I know, sorry. Of course it does not help that Yme is a stealth toilet goer, no sound, smell, fart, plop NOTHING! The door close the only sound is the seat going down rather than the usual pee noises and then nothing, silence, toilet flushes and you would be non the wiser ( sorry my love, now I am sharing your TMI too, the dangers of dating a blogger)

All this got me thinking about an article I read in a woman’s magazine once about whether women in a relationship should be comfortable enough around her man to do all the intimate grooming and toileting. The question was answered by 2 people one pro the openness and the other not. The woman pro said that it is a sign of a happy close relationship with total trust and the one anti said woman should keep some aloofness about the exact workings of her body and all the grooming required to keep things all neat and tidy, as this helps to keep the sex appeal higher if he does not have to witness the whole process, just the awesome end result.

My question is;

Ladies: Do you do all the grooming with your man around, or do you keep the shaving, waxing, plucking, scrubbing, face masks, blackhead removal, toe nail cleaning etc etc for times when he has no chance of seeing?
Men: do you mind witnessing the whole grooming process, or is it something that you would rather just enjoy the end result?

Becoming pink – I know I shared these on twitter as they happened but thought to put them here too

Roots growing out – time for a top up

bleach on

2-tone

Dye on, time for coffee and to read my book for an hour

All done

Yesterday the kids were getting a bit of cabin fever so I took them down to a lake and park nearby, they had a really good time

Before we left Pta I found these name boards for the kids to make along with the stuff I was packing, I thought that the letters had more of a chance not getting lost if they were actually attached to the boards so we painted and had fun.

- My mom took him to the toilet and he said to her : “This penis is not working, I need to jiggle it”

- I often ask Rachel if she will do me a favour and help me get stuff or do something for me, Caleb now asks just about everyone ‘Mommy/Granny/Bumpa/Christina/Rachel/Marc ( insert required name) can you do me a favour?’ and then he says nothing after that.

- me: Caleb what are you doing Caleb: singing to my penis

- “Rachel is annoying me”

- if you close your eyes and pretend to sleep he says cock-a-doodle-do until you wake up, he also pretends to snore

- ‘MOM can I zerbit your tummy?’ he loves to stroke and make big noisy zerbits on my tummy, then he kills himself laughing.

- he says B for V so movies = mobies, TV = TB DVD = DBD heavy = heaby etc it is cute

- He can count to 12, green is his favourite colour and he loves to eat olibes (olives)

- If anything breaks he tells you he will get his screwdriber (driver) and fix it

- but he also tells me I am beautiful and he hugs me and says ” Mommy I luff you” and I melt

- this is our first Christmas post separation from ex, it is not our first alone as he was on the rigs over Christmas before, but this time it is different. It is significant and sad
- I am lucky to have my parents around even if everything comes with a price.
- Ex is going to be alone for Christmas and while we did not make a very good husband and wife team at all, he is a good dad and made such a big effort last year with flour snow foot prints and the works, I am sad he is alone. I feel guilty in a way but know that in the long run it is for the best.
- I have never really had to worry about money before, yes we were always careful and there was not an endless supply but now it is just not there. Dealing with Christmas and no money has not been fun.
- I love my kids more than breathing but Rachel and I are fighting a lot and I am worried it is going to ruin our Christmas.
- I need a few more small things for Caleb, I have a few big things for him but his sister has more small stuff to open. I so do not feel like facing the shops again tomorrow.
- It took 5 shops for me to find Christmas crackers! and then they were crap in the end and I might as well not have bothered.
- This is the first Christmas in my whole 32 year existence that the day has no religious meaning for me at all, it is weird.
- I need to get to bed earlier so I cope better, I am tired.
- I want to read the awesome book Aequitas gave me for Christmas but I can hardly keep my eyes open long enough to finish this.
-I plan to read a lot in Cape Town.
- I did not expect Christmas to be this hard.
- Tomorrow is dedicated to crafts with the kids cleaning and tidying, we will have our Christmas dinner in the evening of 24th but will do presents on 25 as is proper.
- I miss Aequitas
- I want Christmas to be over.

all done, sorry about that, will try be awesome again tomorrow

“The pen is mightier than the sword” Edward Bulwer-Lytton

I love words they are my chosen medium for; dealing with issues in my life, communicating with others and hopefully in some small way challenging people to think. I truely believe that words and stories can bring about change, yet today I feel like the power in the words is gone and that all eloquence has left me. I am however determined to say something and I hope that collectively if we speak our words trigger thoughts which mean actions are examined and maybe one day changed. Reminds me of the Starfish Story

Sam Wilson on Women 24 wrote an article ‘Where are our men?’ she said every year they tell women’s stories and highlight the issues but not much changes so this time she was challenging the men. Many guys took great exception to the article and I was really quite shocked by some the comments. So many of the guys went no further than being defensive and taking what Sam said out of context. I must admit to be quite despondent after reading some of these comments. I felt like there was no hope for our society and that change would never happen.

In a discussion with a male friend about the article he asked me for my opinion on what I thought he should be doing and I must admit to being at a bit of a loss as to what to say. Besides the obvious of not standing for abuse if he ever had knowledge of it, but I guess most nice guys would do that, what other tangible thing could I suggest? The problem is that this is rarely something that happens where others can see it.  Men like to fix, they like to do, they don’t just like to talk and hope that it will affect change. We tell them to stand up and join the fight but we don’t give them the tools to do it.

Sam in response to a lot of the attacks she got for her article said:
@Camelthief There’s lots you can do. 1) A monthly stop order to Rape Crisis, POWA or any credible NGO that assists victims of violence. 2) Speak out whenever you hear of/see abuse happening. I know it’s not something often ‘bragged about around the braai’ (at least I fervently hope not)… but vigilance and attention does challenge the silence around domestic abuse. 3) Be a role model. Look to your own relationships; your own family and ask yourself… am I present enough in my child’s life? Am I providing an example of manhood that I am proud of? You can see from many of the comments above how badly even these simple steps are needed.I was kinda hoping other men would make suggestions…that didn’t involve abusing me.

I don’t have the answers but I think the call to action needs to have a few guidelines as to what we can all do. I know as a mother I hope to work from the ground up and teach my kids about respect and that this is paramount no matter their gender. I think that lumping all women with children, and other groups that need protecting in our society might make some view them as somehow vulnerable. It is easier to take advantage of something/someone who you have preconceived ideas about being vulnerable. I know that Andre has blogged about a similar thing before. I want both of my kids to feel they have a right to be respected and that they have to treat others with the same respect.

The sheer frustration of this blog has been looking at such an important topic, on in which we really need to pull together and yet at the same time not have a clue how to even start initiating the change I so long for in our society. I dream of a future where our sons and daughters do not face this issue in the pandemic levels that we do now. What I do know is that we have to be careful not to come across as attacking because we are not going to solve this problem if we get people’s backs up.  If we make all men feel like they are lumped together with the perpetrators I think we have failed them too. We have to leave our egos at the door and stop trying to say who’s fault it is and look at what it is we as a society are doing to perpetuate this problem and how we move forward to solve it.

I am really keen to hear if anyone else has some bright ideas.

And if you are interested some other people’s views and blogs
Andre: I’ve had an apostrophe
Scott: I have XY chromosomes, too.
Megan : 16 Days
Thought leaders Cows Makarovs and the dangers of Charming men

view from the house

the house

Meelah and Caleb playing cars

rope swing

river fun

Mama Love

around the house

Caleb in the bath with 3 girls – could you get a naughtier face?