Oh my word what did we do before the internet? I am an extrovert, not in the sense that I need big crowds or that I need to be the center of a huge party but in the way that I draw my energy from people. I like to be around people and talking and feeding off them as my one friend put it. So for me to have moved and have no internet is like torture. I love my kids endlessly but they can be a real drain on my energy when I have little other interaction during the day. So the move to Cape Town has meant not only less of my friends around but also no internet has cut me off from my on line support. I am not sure I realized quite how much I needed the people I chatted to on twitter and those who’s blogs I read and using my own blog to chat to others and get my thoughts out.

A few little hiccups have meant that we have been rather challenged in the getting internet.
- Helkom who said we could have a ADSL line no problem when we got the phone line now suddenly have no ports and will not be putting any more infrastructure in place before next year! If you ask me they have so over stretched themselves with the World Cup that they have no more money for the basic stuff. Having no internet and an on line business is not very helpful
- so the next obvious choice is Wireless, we called a few places for a site survey and guess what, luck would have it was have 2 big ass trees in that directly block the 2 hills that the antenna are on that transmit the signal, so that is not an option.
- 3G it is then for now, but we are both MTN and this is a crap signalk area for MTN so we have to get a vodacom card Ricca it and try use it that way, easy? No not quite, have you ever tried to change yiour address before one of the suckers will give you an address change, no i can prove my address with a bill before on of you will give me a bill with my address!!!
- On top of that my cell phone that I could tweet with got stolen, it was one of the worst things, it was given to me as a gift by an amazing person that I am not allowed to name and it is so much worse when a gift gets stolen than something you bought yourself, I was gutted.
- Then my lap top broke
- The home phone broke

It was basically just an all round communication technology fail. I now have a new pink laptop, a new HTC Desire phone, we have a new home phone and have resigned ourselves to 3G, although the fight with the parasite, I mean para-statal Telkom. continues!

The communication front has not been great, and the move has been a big adjustment for the kids however I know it sounds corny but I am loved.
I throw wobbly and I am loved,
I have PMS and terrible cramps that double me over and I am loved and looked after,
I go to a parenting forum get together and Yme comes with me.
I am getting used to the fact that he wants to do stuff with me and that he is not going to shout at me and that he actually likes to help organise stuff and shop for the house.
He likes having people over. He might not be an extrovert like me and he needs space alone but he knows my need for people and he accommodates that. He never makes me feel guilty for wanting or needing people.
He tells me he loves me, he even whispers it to me when he thinks I am asleep and can’t hear.
He loves me just the way I am.

I have missed you all, what has everyone been up to? I hope to be here more from now on. I have also started a blog for the kids for their news and home school stuff. www.pinklets.wordpress.com which I hope to be able to update a bit more now that we have some internet albeit not the best fastest or cheapest.

the picture Sharon took

Yme took this one on the road trip – it was a really happy time

My first trip to CT as PHG, Andre took this pic at Cape point

Jeanette took this at the Ladies on Lunch on Jhb.

I love this one of the kids and I that Marc took

5 things I like about me:
- I am not afraid to be different ( I love my pink hair) but I do things because I want to and they feel right to me rather than just to be different for different sake
- I am very fond on the new boobs and I am proud of the old ones for breast feeding 2 kids
- I have quite nice legs although the thighs and bum have spread a little over the years.
- I like my hands, they are not the strongest or the prettiest but I genuinely like helping people and they make that possible, I will go out of my way for my friends.
- I like my mouth, I love being kissed and I love the words and the power of words that my mouth gives me the chance to say, if I could just get my brain to slow down and be more consciously aware not to interrupt people. I know I do it but I never realize it at the time.

I nominate Sharon, AcidicIce, Angel ,Jeanette, Laura

	The first week and a bit the weather was wonderful which I think was good, it gave me a chance to settle in a bit, it also meant that it was dry when our stuff from Pretoria arrived.
	The rain has started, I am used to rain, I survived 4 years collectively in the UK. The difference here is that I can’t get the washing dry. In the UK it was cold enough to use the radiator to dry the clothes, here it just does not dry. So not sure what to do about it, my greener sensibilities make me hesitant to get a tumble dryer. Someone suggested a clothes horse and a fan, it does not have to heat the air so uses less electricity but is a bit slower – I wonder if it would work? Would certainly be kinder on the pocket.
	I can not actually fit all our stuff in, and am now tired of falling over stuff. So decided that the kids toys are going to be on rotation, they have way way way too many toys. They might actually play with some and have a better appreciation for them if they have fewer to focus on at a time. I am relying on the kindness of a friend with a spare room that can store a box or 2.
	Not having a garage is a challenge.
	All the Earth Babies stock is about to move in too ( for those who don’t know, I run an on line natural baby company and both Barbara and I moved from Pretoria where EB was always based. She has been sending stock from Port Shepstone but post is very slow from there and most of our suppliers are in Cape Town so it makes more sense for me to have the stock here.
	I think I need an IKEA booklet, yes I know I can’t get the stuff here but they always had good ideas about how to use space really well.
	All that said I love our little house, it is ours and it is happy. With a more manageable number of toys and a good shelving system we will be all set. Not to say that we were not drooling over the property magazine, despite the fact that unless one or both of us sells a kidney we are not moving anytime soon, it is nice to dream.
	Yme’s family is lovely and have gone out of their way to make us feel welcome. I am a very family person and it has been hard to leave my parents in Pretoria, so having another family the kids and I feel so comfortable around is a huge help. We even left the kids with his mom and brothers for most of the day on Saturday when we went shopping for a stove and the kids loved it there. Both of them like his mom and I suppose the fact that she has had 4 kids and is very relaxed with them helps.
	We have a stove and oven, Yay!! It came yesterday and Yme installed it last night,so we baked celebratory cup cake today.
	I hate housework
	I have an awesome vacuum cleaner that is like a transformer, it folds up all really small and then click, click, click it all folds out and looks cool – well as cool as a vacuum cleaner can possibly look, and it make the task ‘almost’ pleasant.
	my sister is in labour and soon I should have a niece or newphew, can’t wait to find out. When I asked Caleb on the weekend if it was a boy or girl he said it was a birl. Typical boy hedging his bets.
	Did I mention the fact that it rained a bit here, and I have been told that these are just the autumn showers and mid-winter it gets even more wet. The prospect is a little grim. So far I have tried to hang washing out a couple of times when the sun was shining only to have it get wetter than before it was hung up.
	I was a sulky bitch today when my favourite picture that I was taking to get re-glassed (the glass broke when it was moved back from the UK and I had not gotten around to fixing it which was a good thing as it would probably just have broken again now in the move down here) got wet and blistered in the rain, it was not raining when I left the house and on the short walk down the drive to the car the heavens opened. I then could not fit the picture in the boot so it had to go in the back and the kids moaned that they had nowhere to put their legs, well to be fair they didn’t really. The sulky bitch part – I phone Yme and told him I was not in love with Cape Town today. Shame he let me moan all about his beloved city. And no I am not telling anyone how much the glass and new mounting is costing. I am just hoping that Matisse’s naked ladies did not come to too much harm
	We were driving along on Saturday with Table Mountain in front of us and I just could help smiling and thinking “I live here” I know plenty of people who have always lived here take it for granted but I hope I am always awed by it and never get to the point of taking it or granted.
	I want a womery, it is killing me to throw all our compostable stuff away. I know we can’t really have a garden but I can feed the pot plants that I am planning to have soon and give the rest to our friendly neighbour who has a nice garden. On that note, what herbs grow here in the Cape winter?
	We need a couch, we saw one on the gumtree we might get. I think it will help me think of it more like a home when people have somewhere to sit.
	My gran lives in Somerset West and Rachel and I got to see her for Mother’s Day. I am glad that I am closer to her and can see her more often. I must phone her tomorrow and check if she needs shopping.

So I found this little precipitation graph to cheer myself up – the worst is yet to come. But no matter how much I moan and even if I never ever get used to cold winter rain, I love Yme and our home and our life and would not trade it for all the sunshine in Gauteng.

Graph found on El Dorado Weather

I remember as a kid my friend Heather and I would often bake together.Chocolate cakes were a favourite but the one baking adventure that sticks in my mind was when we make this cake that was supposed to have an orange sugar glaze over it. The recipe said that you had to melt the sugar and the butter and orange juice and stir until it thickened and pour over the cake. Well we stirred and stirred and stirred, but the damn stuff never thicken, so the consensus was, sod it we would just pour it over and hope it did what it was supposed to, which was to make a thin layer of glaze on the top, and not just soak in as we feared as it was still runny. Well it did make a layer on the top just not one that you could actually get your teeth through, all our boiling had turned the mixed into toffee which dried into a hard layer that you needed a chisel to remove from the top of the cake – so not all our attempts were successful but they sure were fun.

A few things recently have reminded me how much I love cooking

1)This week Yme’s mom was not well so I offer to make food for her and his brothers one night. I was standing in the kitchen thinking how much I actually enjoy cooking and feeding people. The kids are just old enough now that they can entertain themselves for long enough for me to again start making meals with some imagination and that require more than 5 minutes. Having small kids with fussy tastebuds does limit ones culinary creativity somewhat. It is nice to start adding more exciting things slowly to the repertoire again. I managed to feed his family (I am not sure if Yme prompted them behind the scenes, as he knew I was a little nervous cooking for them the first time) and they all seemed to like the lasagne and the home made bread. I always feel bad that home made bread makes such an impression while being very little effort. In fact I can’t claim any of the credit, the bread maker literally does it all for you.

2) We bought an oven yesterday. Having been without an oven since we moved in I literally cannot wait for it to be delivered tomorrow, and we WILL be baking celebratory cup cakes! For those who are not familiar with the quirks of renting in Cape Town, you might not realize that unless you move into a newish place with an inbuilt oven and stove the chances are that the place you rent will come sans (without) oven are great. “Outrageous” I hear you cry, why even the landlord sharks in London give you a basic stove and oven! Well not in the republic of Cape Town.

3) We were in a bookshop on Saturday and looking at all the lovely cook books was such a great reminder of how wonderful it is to make amazing food.

I am learning to cook Afrikaans, well to add sugar to vegetables that is Yme thinks that it is hilarious that the kids now love gem squash when it has butter and sugar in it, where as it was not something they really liked before. I on the other hand am quite fond of my veg not tasting like pudding, I guess 3 to 1 means I am slightly over ruled. BUT this little English chick did manage to teach the Afrikaans braai master the trick of cleaning the braai grid with half a onion, and I only gloated a tiny bit when I heard him telling his brother the trick today.

Do you like cooking? and what is your favourite kitchen appliance?

I have many; my Kenwood mixer is right up there for baking, but there is this little Braun hand held thingy that has a blending attachment, great for the times gravy goes lumpy and for blending soup. It has a whisk attachment too, but the greatest is that you can attach it to this pot with a cutting blade so teary eyed onion chopping is a thing of the past and making bread crumbs is easy, chopping herbs, etc etc. I love it and use it almost every time I cook. And of course the beloved bread maker, which reminds me I need to go and put it on so we have fresh bread ready and waiting in the morning.

1) Time. I know it is quick to set up a free WordPress blog, but then I would spend the rest of the night looking for a theme that I liked, hating all the free ones and trying to customise one. It has to look pretty after all…

2) I like comments, I am a bit of a comment whore to be honest. It is not a numbers game, it is more just knowing people popped in and read what I wrote. A little ‘I was here’ note more than suffices, comments do not need to be profound, just present. I like the connection, the idea that my words have been seen, understood and shared by others. I would love to think that maybe one day they might even have an impact on people but I am not vain enough to think that what I write now is in any way profound enough for that.

So back to the problem at hand, I have always said I write because I have to, the words simply bubble up inside until they have to have a place to come out. Tonight is no exception, they need out. What I feel however makes no sense to me, so how do I suppose that with 10 fingers, 26 letters and a tired mind I have a hope of anything other than inarticulate unintelligible rambling? I am not sure but here goes

I feel all tearful and jiggery inside. I have heaps to do, too much as always, but I can’t concentrate on any of it. I want to have a good old cry but I feel mad at myself at the same time for feeling this way. Why on earth would I feel tearful when in fact I can not remember a time in my life when I have been happier? I am loved and supported and cared for by so many people and yet inside tonight I feel anxious and a little overwhelmed.

I feel like a juggler, I have all these balls in the air, all of them important and all of them counting on my to keep it all together and afloat, and I am terrified I am about to drop one. What I have to cope with here is only fractionally more than I had in Pretoria but I guess added to that the newness and uncertainty of my surroundings and the lack of familiar means that today it feels a little much. I have no pressure from anyone to be or do more than I can manage, the pressure to be all to everyone is self imposed.

I know it was a big move to Cape Town and just the emotional drain of packing and unpacking and helping the kids adjust, takes it’s toll. No matter how much I want to be here, and I do, I do not regret this move, not even for a minute, I guess I have to take into account that the changes will have an effect on my emotions. The problem is that I don’t want them to, I want to be fine and cope fine and make the transition without any hiccups and me smiling and happy and awesome – not feeling like I am slowly crumbing from the inside.

- The obvious one is the jacarandas, there is nothing like the visual overture of purple blossoms that announce that spring is here. I have lived in the Europe and the UK where cherry blossoms signal spring with their tiny pink flowers but there is something about that familiar purple that I miss when I am not at home.

- The familiar: I have lived in Pretoria for so long that I know where everything is, I know the back roads I know which shop sells what and exactly where to go for everything. If you know me you know how easily get lost, so just the thought of venturing out when i do not know an area can make me feel quite anxious. I know that over time I will learn, but i am going to miss just knowing where stuff is. Thanks for Cat for the jacaranda picture. ( a quick aside, as i was googling for jacaranda pics i found this one on Cat’s blog and it was so weird as we both lived in Pta we comment on each others blogs but we have never actually met, then I saw another picture on a blog that turned out to be someone I grew up with who now lives in America and I did not even know she blogged – Gypsy Mom (Lisa-Jo)

- My family: without my parents there is just no way that I would have survived this last year, their unwavering support and help got me through some very dark days. They opened their home to being invaded by sticky hands and plenty of toys at a time when they were used to tidy and quiet. They helped me with the kids and went above and beyond to care for us, look after us financially and lavish us with love at a time hen we were all feeling very fragile and a bit emotionally battered. They provided a safe place for the kids to recover from their parents separating. We will miss them so much, but as my mom works in CT often i hope e will still see them a lot and perhaps us being here will be the pull they need to return to the Cape to retire in a few years as they have talked about for a few years. I know they do not fully understand my decision to move down to CT now, they know I have been talking about it since I got back to SA but this happened rather fast, yet they have offered their support both emotional and practical and been nothing but amazing at a time that i know their hearts are sore having lost having the kids around all the time.

My friend Sharon took these pics of the kids and their grandparents on your last weekend there and it was enough to bring tears to my eyes when I saw them. Thank you Sharon. the kids were being difficult and were tired so Sharon is a amazing to have gotten these two that really pull on my heart strings.

- My little house, the kids and I stayed next to my parents in a little ( well not really so little) house on the same property. I miss my house, I really loved it, especially the balcony. I even blogged about my balcony here and here and while i never did get to fix it up. Yme and i do have this little braai area in our new house which is becoming like my balcony to me. We spend time in the morning and evening there, our time to connect as the day starts and as it ends again. My wonderful friend Barbara, (who deserves a whole post all of her own and one is in the pipelines) got her husband to make me wood cut outs of those angels I mentioned in the balcony blog so maybe it is time to finish them and put them up in our new space. Most of all about my house i miss the cupboard space. We have so much stuff. I don’t think Yme believes that i threw more than half away. Time to thin out more I think.

- my friends, Sharon, Laura, Heather and Esther I miss you guys, please come visit.

- Tuks FM the only good radio station in South Africa in my humble opinion, I can listen to it all day and most of the time like all the music which is really not the case with most of the other stations. I am a rock chick at heart and while i know I can stream it at home, what am i supposed to listen to in the car???

- There is just something about Pta that you would not understand unless you have lived there. It is not a tourist attraction and I supposes not terribly pretty expect when the jacarandas bloom, but it is calmer than Jhb and has an appeal for those of us who have called it home.

I am sure there are things that I have forgotten and will add with time, but as much as I miss it, I am very ready for this new adventure in my life. I am ready to share it with someone who understands me, challenges me, loves me and wants to be part of my and the kids little family.

It is hard to believe that it is happening after wanting to do this for so long, I guess my timing is a bit rubbish. I hated the UK weather and I decide to move to CT right as winter is about to start. Well if I can survive 2 years in the UK where it rains 365 days a year then I am sure I can handle a few months in CT? Besides it will not get as cold the UK.

So the great job now is packing and moving, not one that I like very much but needs must.
I a going to self pack and then just get a truck to come and transport the stuff – anyone got any contacts of an inexpensive company?

Oh yes moving date is around 19/20 April – around the corner!!!!!

The blog challenge on Female to Female today is about your favourite city, either the one you live in or the one that you want to live in. Now it is no secret that I love Cape Town and that my goal is to move there. My parents are originally from Cape Town and we have been visiting since I was a little girl. I love it, there is just something about me that feels at home in CT. From the mountains to the sea Cape Town has memories both old and new for me.

One day I really hope I get to live the dream.

Now all that said I really really love Pretoria, and yes laugh all you like but until you have lived here you can’t understand that it is actually not a bad place to live. The weather, in my humble opinion is the best in South Africa. Laura explains it well in Female to Female

Thanks to André for the picture

This picture André took at dawn today really sums up all of the emotion attached to the first day of 2010.

The low cloud from behind which the sun is rising is so symbolic for me, 2009 was a difficult year but one that involved much self discovery and many changes that I hope will lead to better and bigger things in 2010. There is such a promise of light, dreams, fun, colour adventure new beginnings as the sun rises from behind the clouds at the start of this year.