But a day like today is not just all about the fun of boobs, for some women the thought of showing anyone their cleavage is enough to send them into a cold sweat.I know the agony on being flat chested. And yes I did say agony, while I don’t believe every woman with slighlty less adipose tissue on her chest is a misery, I have been on that side of the fence and I know that our society places such a big emphasis on breasts that it is hard to come away unscathed. Add to that someone telling you that you are inadequate and it is next to impossible to feel that you are in any way shape or form sexy or desirable.

I do believe that there are some awesome, strong, wonderful woman with small breasts who are happy in themselves and would never consider doing what I did. I salute them, their honesty and ability to look beyond our society and find true worth inside is what we should all strive for. I long for the day when we celebrate bodies in all shapes and sizes and breasts in all their big, small, droopy and perky glory.

I am happy I had mine done and often find myself looking at them admiringly or just having to touch to see that they are there and actually mine. They have done a lot for my confidence and maybe I should have been able to fight the demons on the past without help from surgery but I am not sorry I did it. What I can say is that I now know that there are plenty of good men out there to whom the size of your breasts does not matter and to them I say thank you. The gift you gave me of knowing I am desirable like I am is something I treasure.

One of the huge bonuses of small boobs is they are super orgasmically sensitive, makes fun times even more fun , I know from my own experience and from talking to guys who have seen the different ways woman react have to having their nipples touched. While I am not saying that large breasted woman do not have fun it seems the reaction is intensified with smaller boobs but not having done a proper study on this (and maybe I will leave it for one of the boys) I am willing to be corrected.

Boobs Boobs glorious boobs, I celebrate #NCD and pay tribute to all woman no matter their shape or size. I only wish that I had been confident enough to participate in something like this before I had my op.

- Everyone says that they are not going to change your life but well actually they do! Not in the big solve-all-your-problems kind of way but rather more subtly by changing the way you feel about yourself. This has a huge impact on the way you interact with the world around you. Self confidence and the ability to project one’s self in a positive way to others should not be reliant on looks but lets face it you feel way better on the day when you look good in your business meeting than the morning you wake up to find the horror of a enormous pimple on the end on your nose.

- Being able to try on bras and actually find some that fit and you have enough to actually fill is a fantastic feeling. Bra shopping went from one of the things I most loathed and dreaded to being fun. I love buying new pretty bras for my new boobs. I even got some matching sets so I can be proper like Laura and Wenchy

- Fake boobs are sometimes colder than the rest of you. I have 400cc of silicone in each breast, there was not much there to start with as you can see here so I guess with that much silicone just under a thin muscle they feel the cold more.

- The scar was really really hard in the beginning and I was worried that it would stay like that, but the wonders of bio oil and the bodies own amazing ability to heal means that the scar area is soft now and a lot less visible, yes you can still see it, but not enough that it ever bothers me.

- Fake boobs are like public property, people are curious and want to feel them. I am really okay with this, so ask. And I am talking about an over clothes lets see what they feel like kind of feel. The other kind of feeling is not open to everyone. But seriously if you are curious just ask.

- People are so much more supportive than I had ever imagined, or maybe those who think it was a crap idea just shut up. Thank you to everyone that supported me.

- It feels different to hug with boobs.

- Mine are now a full B boarding on a C but just not quite, it is a great size for me and I love them. Running would have been harder with them being that much bigger, but secterly boob greed is real, once you have them you always want a little more.

- I have lost crumbs down my top for the first time in my life.

- You can walk around all day with a mark on your top that is just under boobs so out of line of sight and not notice until you look in the mirror later.

- Loosing sensation was a big worry for me, but it has not been a problem, in fact having more for someone to play with and know they enjoy them too means it is actually even more fun.

- I never knew how much I would love looking at them and touching them just to know they are there. If I walk past a mirror or my reflection in glass I have to stare, it is like a pinch me is this real moment. ‘Are those nice boobs really mine?’

- Wearing and shopping for clothes that are made to fit a female frame with some shape is now fun, I have not had huge amounts of money to spend on new tops but those that show them off a bit are now fun to wear and will add more as and when the budget allows.

- Doing something like these boudoir photos becomes an option you consider instead of something you would never dream of in a million years.

So looking at these before photos I am faced with the same embarrassment I felt before. I even joked with a friend after I split up from my ex that I would never have sex with the light on again. I never wanted to see anyone’s face the first time they saw me naked. But I did and they loved me as I was, and that is what I have to remember. I have to learn to love that old me too as she is part of embracing the new me, as I am no different, I am not the sum of my breasts. But heck it feels nice to wear stuff and not worry about looking 12!

Now something to remember, they are fake, and because I had very little to start with, well lets me honest – nothing, all of the after is silicone so yes they look round. It bothered me a bit in the beginning, I wanted them to look more natural and in time they will settle down a little and be less round, but even if they don’t I was never under the illusion that they would be perfect. But then which real boobs are perfect anyway? and excuse the cut under the new ones which you can still see as it is only 2 weeks since the op.

Okay so here they are
Before:

After:

Feeling quite vulnerable now actually.

But I can wear this which I never could before

My mom was in hysterics recounting a conversation between Rachel and her dad, when he phoned that night. She told him that Mommy was having an operation on her Boobies. He must not have heard the first time because then she yells – ‘On her BOOBIES – to make them bigger as ladies clothes are not made for small Boobies and don’t fit properly – you know Dad’

She does not like the idea that I will be in pain and that she will not be able to be rough with me. She is worried about how she will hug me. But the idea that we all get to go for a sleepover, for a few days, at her best friend Rafe’s seems to be making up for all these negatives.

While I was in the shower this morning she looks at me and says – “Mommy your Boobies are even smaller than before” this is true, since I stopped breast feeding Caleb the little I had is totally gone. She then says ‘they are such teeny tiny Boobies Mommy – like mine’ Nothing like a child’s honesty to make you feel great first thing in the morning – oh well it made me more sure I want to go through with this.

My husband always moaned about my breasts, he told that the first time he saw me naked he was taken aback by my lack of boobs and has nagged me to get implants for ages. It is strange but when someone else suggested that I do it, I dug my heels in and would not even think about it. I think it was the suggestion of me not quite being good enough that I rebelled against.

Now coming out of that relationship and having to face my love hate relationship with my non existent mammaries I have had to think long and hard about this choice. Why am I doing it and why now?

I have successfully breastfed 2 kids for a total of 4 years so from a functional point of view my little breasts have done very well, but I have always wanted to feel that tiny bit more feminine and have those curves that makes buying clothes that little bit easier. I would like buying sexy lingerie to be fun and not just depressing.

Maybe part of it is fearing that other men may react like my ex did when they see me naked, but I am so much more than the sum of my breasts. I am doing this for myself, it is not to please a man, to win and man or to keep a man. It is a little something for me.

I have no expectations that it will change my life or make me happier or a more satisfied person. I also do not expect that they will be perfect. But they will make me feel good and are a little present to myself in what has been a difficult few months.

I am sure I should be sensible and save the money I have and not spend it on breast, but you know I am a little tired of sensible for the moment and so I throw caution to the wind. Besides I have a plan to make back some of the money.

It is quite surprising how many people have asked to feel them afterwards; I think it is quite funny actually. I guess people are curious to see what they will be like. I really have no problem with it at all. So I thought I could be like one of those kissing booths at the fair, except you put your R5 in the jar and get to feel my boobs rather than get a kiss.