I always believed in this idea. I always thought that it could work. So it was not a lack of faith. I guess I am just blow away by the amount that other people have been willing to buy into the idea, and to go with it.
To understand it, when at times, I was not sure I totally understood it myself.

Most of all I have to thank @Majorproblem ( Yme) @squidsquirt ( Scott) and @andrevr (Andre) for believing in this and not letting me just drop the idea. They all have very different skills and even though 2 out of the
4 (Yme and Andre) are the realists, they never let the practical in any way dampen the dream or limit what we could achieve.

So what am I talking about? Pop on over here and have a look The Awesome Road Trip of PinkHairGirl and friends. The pilot is starting on 13 March and so the kids and I came down to CT to do the final arrangements. This is a trip around South Africa to highlight and talk about green and
community issues in our country. To tell stories that might otherwise not be told and to look at how communication, technology and the ability to access basic connectivity effects the power and voice that a
person can have in this country.

Follow us as we make our way around SA, we’ll need lots of help if we are going to reach the people we want to reach and make a difference in as many lives as we possibly can. We will be tweeting, blogging and
keeping you up to speed on Facebook as we go around. Spread the word to anyone who has an eco, green or community project that we might be able to visit on our travels!

The female2female blog challenge this week is 10 things. Any 10 thing. Laura did  10 thing she wants to do before she dies, but I sort of did that in this post so I decided to be scare you all away with soppy. Damn I can’t believe you all survived my emo and now the soppy. I am truly sorry but here goes

10 things I love about you

1. You are intellegent and I love talking to you, we have such interesting conversations, you never make me feel dumb even when I don’t know much about a topic.
2. You send me an sms when you go to bed, which is always after me, so when I wake up in the morning I get to read that you love me and reminding me to do my sit-ups.
3. You support me as a mom and tell me I am doing a good job and how loved my kids are, you understand how I want to do things and the sense of failure I have not quite being where I would like to be.
4. You believe in me, you offer support and are so willing to help, but you tell me how you know with or without you I can do it. You don’t need me to feel dependent and understand how important it is for me to feel a sense of financial independence.
5. You are flying up all the way from CT just to help me drive down with the kids.
6. You do not want to change me in anyway, I feel no pressure to be anyone but myself.
7. You are willing to be involved with the kids and help me but honest enough to say it you need time out for a while.
8. You like being silly with me and I love how much we laugh when we are together.
9. You are following your dream and love what you do
10. You look into my eyes and I know that I am loved.

The overtones of a very patriarchal male dominated society is still so apparent in the differentiation still made for woman. I asked on twitter and a lot of woman agreed. The problem is not only the the title has the feeling of being a badge of ownership the other problem is that in our society of complex relationships the title which is supposed to give information is redundant.

I am not Miss, as in a never marriage available female and i am not Mrs either, I am separated and desperately wanting to be divorce, but be that as it may, why does what I am matter to anyone?? What if like a friend, I was married and then widowed, she is no longer her title. When they cease to be useful and have the glaring inequality that men’s marital status is not denoted then I think it is time to move on.

Miss and Mrs should just be replaced by the non specific Ms no confusion, no getting it wrong, no feeling like in some ways it denotes ownership and no one needing to feel hurt by their title when it is a reminder of loss and grief.

When Ms. magazine was born, the editors explained, “Ms. is being adopted as a standard form of address by women who want to be recognized as individuals, rather than being identified by their relationship with a man.”

Rant over, I am not a raging feminist and I do like to be treated well, I just think that these titles have lost all meaning and relevance.

Lucky for me I am wearing my uber awesome smurf  t-shirt

They arrived today, how gorgeous are they!
Thanks Janine and thank you The Chocolate Club

I so badly want to share them with Aequitas that I promised I would wait until he was here again and we could enjoy them together – what have I done?!?!?!?! How on earth am I going to wait with these around? Anyone know how to wire jaws closed?

So after that rather long preamble what I am going to write about is a tad soppy so feel free to skip the nausea inducing text that follows.

I was with my ex for 8 years and never once did he ever say that he loved me, in fact I don’t think he really truly loves anyone in this world but his daughter. I convinced myself that I was not the soppy type and that I did not really like pet names, holding hands and all the other signs of affection. I can’t only blame my ex I think I was like that with a lof of my previous partners, maybe not quite as bad but still. You see I am a very very physical person, I love to be touched but I come from a rather emotionally reserved family so there is the dicotomy between what I know through habit and upbring and my natural tendency to want to be emotional, touchy and rather soppy.

Would have known that I would become a ‘get-a-room’ kind of gal, that I would love holding hands and being called “Love” would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside? I never knew feeling loved by someone in an uncomplicated normal way could feel so good.

There are times when I think that my reserved upbringing, and not being used to be loved in a relationship, makes me occasionally draw back, retreat and try sabotage things. I am good at that, I am good at breaking relationships, but this time, this time is different! I do sometimes transfer my weight onto the back foot as I contemplate turning on my heels and running. But I stop myself and I look at what I have and why I want to run and I realize that my own sense of self worth is often to blame. My own sense of ‘oh shit, my life is way too complicated for anyone’ (Please do not think that I was not loved as a child, I was very loved my parents are just not very physical towards each other so it is not something I have seen as a child.)

But then I get the sms that make me smile all the way to the inside of me, the ones that fill a place so deep inside that I did not know it was empty. I feel loved but never caged, anchored but never bounded. Aequitas loves me, he believes in me and most of all he allows me to be as independent as I need to be. He know it is important to me, he knows I need to security of feeling I can manage on my own, but I only have to ask and he is more than willing to help. If I want to move very heavy bookcases and he says “go for it,  if I was there I would help you but I know you can do it , I believe in you.” Sometimes I do silly forgetful things like leave my car open with the keys in the ignition whileIi go into the shop, he never makes me feel stupid he just says – “try remember becasue I worry about you, you are special to me.”

The distance is hard, but I think it helps me to get used to being loved and to know that it is something I really want. I miss him when he is not here and I can’t wait to tell him things and share the arb details about my day. Besides we both love the Pac-Man bookcase!

One of the things that I think heals me the most is not only being loved but learning to love back and seeing how good I can make someone else feel too. The circle of love.

I googled pet name and while most of the name on this list still make me feel a little queasy, I am learning

So pet names: bring them on!

So this is my story, that I entered:

Guardian’s Gift
By Sally-Jane Cameron

She feels his unwavering love and devotion to her, and grieves the one gift she had never been able to give to him; she the princess, and him, her guardian. Rank had fated him to love her completely but watch while she loved others. She will not fail him! Her strength gathers through the pain. She stands, determined to make him proud; the battle for her kingdom will be won!

I knew I would never win, but it felt good to write again, it was only after I had sent in my entry that I began to read more about short story stuff and the idea is to not switch between past and present and just describe a scene. So I was even more sure that I would not do so well.

But when the judging came up I was surprised to see that I had made the Forties Club which means:

Entries scoring at least 40 out of 45 in my scoring system are inducted into The Forties Club. Asterisks have been added next to the names of inductees. In my judgment, these writers have done their job excellently. Their strong, skilled writing brought their stories to life.

He explains more about the judging here:
this is the link to the winners

My 250 word entry is actually the idea I had for the start of a book, maybe I will write it one day…

- My mom took him to the toilet and he said to her : “This penis is not working, I need to jiggle it”

- I often ask Rachel if she will do me a favour and help me get stuff or do something for me, Caleb now asks just about everyone ‘Mommy/Granny/Bumpa/Christina/Rachel/Marc ( insert required name) can you do me a favour?’ and then he says nothing after that.

- me: Caleb what are you doing Caleb: singing to my penis

- “Rachel is annoying me”

- if you close your eyes and pretend to sleep he says cock-a-doodle-do until you wake up, he also pretends to snore

- ‘MOM can I zerbit your tummy?’ he loves to stroke and make big noisy zerbits on my tummy, then he kills himself laughing.

- he says B for V so movies = mobies, TV = TB DVD = DBD heavy = heaby etc it is cute

- He can count to 12, green is his favourite colour and he loves to eat olibes (olives)

- If anything breaks he tells you he will get his screwdriber (driver) and fix it

- but he also tells me I am beautiful and he hugs me and says ” Mommy I luff you” and I melt

1. Last beverage ~ Red espresso and apple juice ice tea ( I am trying to cut back on my coffee addiction)
2. Last phone call~ Barbara it is her birthday!
3. Last kiss~ 2 seconds ago
4. Last song you listened to~ 30 seconds to Mars – the Kill
5. Last time you cried~ Friday night, was cut deep by a friend

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice ~ Yes
7. Been cheated on? ~ Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it ? ~ No
9. Lost someone special? ~ Yes
10. Been depressed? ~ Yes
11. Been high? –> Yes

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Pink _ no brainer there
13. Green
14. Orange

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Have you made new friends this year ~ Yes
16. Fallen out of love ~ No
17. Laughed until you cried ~ Yes
18. Met someone who changed you ~ Yes
19. Found out who your true friends were ~ Yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you ~ not yet, there is time
21. Kissed anyone on your top friends list ~ No, I have awesome boyfriend for all my kissing needs

TRUTH:
23. How many kids do you want to have ~ I have 2
24. Do you have any pets ~ we share my parents dog
25. Do you want to change your name ~ I changed it from just being Sally to include my second name Sally-Jane
26. What did you do for your last birthday ~ was in England for my sisters wedding – my friends made a big fuss of me
27. What time did you wake up today ~ 5:30
28. What were you doing at midnight last night ~ I can’t actually believe it but I was actually sleeping which is so unusual for me
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for ~ ART
30. Last time you saw your father ~ just over a week ago, he is in the US at the moment, usually see him everyday
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life ~ financial independence
32. What are you listening to right now ~ 30 second to Mars
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom ~ Yes used to work with a Tom
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now? ~ i know this is silly but compared to the place I was in my life a while ago things are so much better that I think my tolerance to silly annoyances is higher.
36. What’s your real name ~ Sally-Jane
37. Relationship Status ~ Dating awesome boyfriend
38. Zodiac sign ~ Gemini
39. Male or female ~ Female
40.Primary School ~ Glenstantia Primary school
41. High School ~ The Glen High School
43. Hair color ~ Pink
44. Long or short ~ medium
45. Height ~ 1,79cm
46. Do you have a crush on someone ~ if a crush always mean unfulfilled then no, if it means feeling silly in love with someone then, yes
47. What do you like about yourself ~ I really care about people
48. Piercings ~ ears and belly button
49. Tattoos ~ YAY yes I have a lovely new tattoo, so happy with it
50. Righty or lefty ~ righty

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery ~ tonsils 3yrs
52. First piercing ~ ears 11 I think
53. First tattoo ~ December last year my Guardian Angel Ankh
54. First best friend ~ Sandi
55. First Sport ~ running
56. First pet ~ dog
57. First vacation ~ Can’t remember
58. First concert ~ *blush*I think it was UB40 or Bon Jovi
59. First crush ~ no idea
60. First alcohol drink ~ can’t remember

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating ~ just finished supper ( spaghetti and mince made by awesome boyfriend)
62. Drinking ~ nothing
63. I’m about to ~ play Torchlight with Rachel then put the kids to bed
64. Listening to ~ still 30 seconds to Mars
65. Waiting for ~ kids to go to bed

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OTHER SEX?
69. Lips or eyes~ eyes
70. Hugs or kisses ~ both
71. Shorter or taller ~ Tallerish as long as they are about my height or above
72. Older or Younger ~ depends
73. Romantic or spontaneous ~ You are kidding right? I want spontaneously romantic!
74. Nice stomach or nice arms ~ Strong arms to hold me so I feel safe and loved
75. Tattoos or piercings ~ whatever they feel comfortable with not a make or break for me
76. Sensitive or loud ~ confident and funny
77. Hook-up or relationship ~ relationship
78. Trouble maker or hesitant ~ again confident and funny I don’t really want a trouble maker or someone who is hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger ~ Yes
80. Drank hard liquor ~ yes
81. Lost glasses/contacts ~ Yes
82. cried in front of someone ~ yes
83. Broken someone’s heart ~ yes – still haunts me sometimes
84. Had your own heart broken ~ yes
85. Been arrested ~ no
86. Turned someone down ~ yes
87. Cried when someone died ~ yes
88. Liked a friend that is a girl ~ no not like THAT, yet

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself ~ yes if i don’t who will
90. Miracles ~ no, i believe that people can surprise us beyond our wildest dreams and touch our lives deeply
91. Love at first sight ~ Yes
92. Heaven ~ No
93. Santa Clause ~ No but there were snow footprint in my lounge on Christmas morning
94. Kissing on the first date ~ yes
95. Angels ~ I wrote this at the end of my blog about 2009
I know this one is a tiny bit soppy and I don’t believe in the religious icon kind of angel, swooping and swerving against a bright blue sky. My angels are down here, in the trenches, keeping me safe.

“Angels are the guardians of hope and wonder, the keepers of magic and dreams. Wherever there is love, an angel is flying by. Your guardian angel knows you inside and out, and loves you just the way you are. Angels keep it simple and always travel light. Remember to leave space in your relationships so the angels have room to play. Your guardian angel helps you find a place when you feel there is no place to go. Whenever you feel lonely, a special angel drops in for tea. Angels are with you every step of the way and help you soar with amazing grace. After all, we are angels in training; all we have to do is spread our wings and fly!” Author Unknown

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now ~ i would love to see my friend Dimity in the UK and sit and drink vanilla rooibos
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time ~ No
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever ~ Yes!
99. What’s the one thing you cannot live without ~ Love
100. Posting this as 100 Truths ~ Yes

I am not going to tag anyone just do it if you want to