How do you cope with uncertainty

The only certainty is uncertainty

Things change and we are faced with uncertainty almost daily. Most of us can cope with small changes to the plan, we can carry on as before with little discomfort. But what about when the uncertainty is about something bigger or more serious? How do we cope then?

I am a facts person. I like to know the facts and then base my decision on what I know at the moment, if I feel I need to know more I will seek additional information. At the moment there is some uncertainty about Caleb’s health.

He has always been very prone to chest infections and tonsillitis. I am not sure if it was because he had RSV bronchiolitis as a baby and a collapsed lung, but he is my child to get sick. Rachel is never sick, never been on antibiotics and Caleb by contracts was on the 8 times in one year. He had blood tests last year and was put on a tonic and iron tablets for being anemic.

Over the summer he was fine, he always has a gland the size of a marble in his neck but when he started sniffing and coughing this winter I felt his glands like I always do. The one on his right neck was huge. As big as the top of my thumb. The GP measured it at over 3cm and said that it needs to come out and be checked.

We were given an appointment with a paedicatric surgeon in a weeks time. I knew rationally not to stress but there was a small part of me that was a bit concerned. I spoke to my Dad ( so cool having a Dr Dad) and he did the research for me 55% it was due to infection, 30ish % are TB or non TB microbials and about 10-12% are Lymphoma ( cancer)

Sure it is not nice knowing that there is a 1 in 10 chance your kid had cancer but I refused to get stressed about something I do not know yet. It is not going to help, what will be will be. Nothing now is going to change that. I have to focus on preparing Caleb.

We saw Professor Brown who was lovely and he said he would like to try a fine needle aspiration first, which is basically sticking a needle into it and drawing some cells out to see if we can get an answer without needing surgery. He said he was not worried about a malignancy but it was good to check.

Tomorrow we go for the pathologist to do the procedure. I am a little nervous about how Caleb will cope. They have given me some Stopayne and Dormicum to give him before and I will use a Emla patch. Caleb is very stoical and when he had his bloods done he did not even move he was very good. I have explained all to him and he is quite calm. If this was Rachel on the other hand I would be very worried she is so huge with her emotions and reactions. She kicked the poor nurse coming to do her bloods once and screamed blue murder. It is actually good that she is in the UK and not able to get Caleb worked up.

She is seeing her dad today for the first time in 3 years, but that is another story.

I loved this TED talk that my sister sent me on vulnerability, what do we do when we feel vulnerable and uncertain. Well worth the 20 minutes to watch it

How do you cope with uncertainty?
What helps you at time of stress?

11 thoughts on “How do you cope with uncertainty

  1. When dealing with uncertainty I generally try to focus on the positive. Hope can be a wonderful thing. While it’s near on impossible to not worry, it’s also worth remembering that often our own imaginations are our worst enemy.

    In times of stress… well, I have this little cat 🙂 I’ve been through some tough times and he’s always just been there, refusing to budge from my lap. I suggest you find your own “little cat” and focus on that. As tough as it is, just try focusing on the things that make you happy until you know something concrete.

    But here’s betting that it’s a simple infection. 🙂

  2. This must be very stressful. I would most likely be a mess. Strongs to you and Caleb and the Geek. I hope everything goes smoothly and that the results are perfect x

    • I am not stressed yet Heather, just concerned how Caleb will cope with the procedure. I will remain optimistic until we have the results

  3. Medical issues – I’m a good man in a storm. I don’t know why – i just am.

    You’re in the best hands with Prof Brown – he is the best.

    I hope all goes well with R too! xx

  4. Thank goodness they can do the procedure tomorrow, so you don’t have TOO long to wait…
    How soon will you get the results?
    Keeping you all in our thoughts.

    • Thanks Lucy and Sandi. No idea how long the results take, hopefully not too long.
      Heard from Mom that Rachel had a good day

  5. I have a terrible habit, as my husband calls it, of fetching the monkey behind the mountain. I think my years of infertility and recurrent pregnancy loss as resulted in me always anticipating worst case scenario.
    I think it’s natural for you to be a little worried, nobody likes to hear the c-word, even if it’s the remotest chance but like you, I’d also be worried about how he will cope with the actual procedure.
    All the best! Keep us posted!

    • Sharon I have never heard that saying before. I like it. I can be a great optimist but am realistic too. Thanks for thinking of us

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