The talk – you know the one

That every parents dread, the birds and the bees one. I have always gone with the sage advice of only answering what they ask. So I have been able to avoid the nitty gritty for a while now. Rachel knows about the seed and the eggs and that the baby grows inside the mommy. She has seen both of her brothers being born. Being a nurse we use anotomically correct names for body parts so vagina and penis are as normal as knee and elbow in our house.

We are in the car, so no escape and the kids start talking about olderst and youngest, boy babies and girl babies. I said to Rachel that she is the only girl baby I will ever have. She asks if she and her brothers came from the same side (did the eggs ovulate from the same side) I said I was not sure.She then marveled at all the brothers and sister she could have and we spoke about potential babies versus those that really become babies and that I was not going to have any more. She said well maybe all the girls are on one side and all the boys on the other. I can see where this is going but know I can’t avoid it forever. Just hope that if I answer what she asks she will not venture further down this line of questioning. I always meant to get some national geographic animal programs, as mammal mating is a good way for kids to learn. This was my plan, you know what they say about carefully laid plans…

So back to our eggs, or my eggs I should say. I told her that the it is the seed from the dad decides if the baby is a girl or a boy not the egg. Then she says but how? I say well the egg and seed join and then the baby starts to grow.
R: But how?
Me: well the baby grows in the Mom’s tummy
R: yes but how does it get in there?
Me: when the seed and the egg join
R: yes but HOW do the seed and the egg get together?

This is starting to remind me of Julia Sweeney and her discussion with her daughter here is the article or watch the video for a real laugh.

I asked if she remembered the book we read called “Mummy laid an Egg”
Mummy laid an egg

R: yes, but that book is all wrong
Me: Why Love?
R: Because they said it comes from a tube!
Me: Yes my Love, it comes from the penis which is like a tube
R: But how does it get to the egg?
Me:The penis goes into the vagina and then the egg and seed meet
R: But how?
Me: They fit together
R: But how?
Me: (starting to panic, how do I avoid the graphic details) well the penis is like a tube and the vagina has a hole for it to fit into
R: But how
Me: They just fit, okay!!

silence

R: So did Yme have to take his pants off?
me: Yes
R: Did you have to take your pants off?
Me: Yes

silence

R: That is weird
Me: Yes love
R: Do you know you are going to make a baby?
Me: Well it does not work every time, sometimes the egg is not ready
R:Have you ever done this and it did not work?
Me: Yes

But this time I thought it was enough for one day and there were road works so I said I needed to concentrate. Sex for fun and not just procreation chat will have to come another day

16 thoughts on “The talk – you know the one

  1. Oooh, well done Sally! Sounds like you did pretty well. O knows all about the seed and the egg part, but hasn’t yet asked about the mechanics of it…

  2. Hahaha! Can’t swing it past the pinklet 😉

    My mom lucked out on this front. I had read an Usborne anatomy book in grade 1 or 2 so she never got the chance to be embarassed by her offspring in that regard. I feel like I missed out on something 😉

  3. oh gosh she got you there … that is just weird!
    Hoping I never have to tell my kids – think I will send them to hostel and let their friends tell them haha. … or send them to you =P

  4. LOL. We’re heading in the same direction, but the question hasn’t been so direct. Maybe… maybe, another year, please? But then, if the talk is over…

    I hope it’s in bed though and not in the car.

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