Homosexuality, School and Obedience

Do you ever land up thinking something and wonder how on earth you got onto that train of thought? Today was one of those days. I heard a news bulletin about a columnist, now foreign representative, calling homosexual people dogs and pigs. I thought why we always equate insulting someone with likening them to animals? Animal in most cases behave a hell of a lot better than us humans. Then I tried to think if anyone had used an insult like that on me and how I had felt. Even though animals are nicer than us, there is something about the insult that is mean to degrade you as a person and make you somehow less than human, no worthy of being human.

I remembered back to high school and a teacher who I disliked a lot humiliating me in front of the whole class by saying I talked more than a bitch on heat. If you know me then you know that this is probably true ( it is funny actually), yet I wished that I was not shy and scared of authority like I was then, I wish I was me now. There is no way I would have let the fear of my minor wrong doing let someone get away with a comment like that.

I wish that I knew that no matter what I had done, even if I had talked non stop his whole class, that his comment was totally inappropriate. That instead of feeling humiliated and landing in tears feeling powerless to do anything about it I would have stood up and taken him to task. Then I was afraid as I thought I was wrong and that he somehow was justified in what he did, he was the teacher. Now I would not mind if he did not like me standing up to him and in fact I would have loved the challenge of seeing if he might like to repeat what he said in front of the head.

Why was my fear of authority so great that I was willing to let an obviously inappropariate comment go? This then made me think of an article on paretning that Ghilraen and I had discussed this morning. That blind obedience is not a trait that we ever want to encourage in our children. That they have the right to an explination and to be heard even if it does not change the outcome of our decision they should know why and they should be able to say their side. If you want to read the article it is here Sure explaining everything is harder and it is easier to have the “because I say so” mentality but I never want my kids to be so fearful of authority that they let obvious injustice slide, or stop thinking for themselves. Because it is when we stop thinking and follow blindly that we become more like animals rather than anything to do with our sexual orientation.

If you could follow this convoluted train of thought well done. I just needed to write it down, to remind myself that explaining and reasoning and working with my kids is worth it. Not easy, no, in fact much harder, but worth it if they never have to feel powerless at injustice like I did that day.

Comments
  • Esther June 1, 2011 at 12:48 am

    Well said. I do agree. Was compaired to black lady in words allowed before 1990′s. It didn’t bring a possitive response in me. In fact I didn’t understand, and thought she could have shown me that a long tread would twist and form knots. That is why a shorter tread would be better to make the seam.
    I was about 10 y and never forgot it.

  • Barb June 1, 2011 at 7:38 am

    A very cute movie on the subject of blind obedience is Ella Enchanted – it makes you see that obedience without the power to think for yourself is not good.
    Unfortunately kids do struggle to stand up to adults in situations like that – until they can I hope mine would come to me with situations like that so I can stand up beside them.

  • Katherine Norman June 1, 2011 at 7:49 am

    I think this is one of the hardest things for my Dad and my in-laws to deal with from our girls. That I make sure that they can express themselves and say how they feel – of course it isn’t always in the most appropriate way (but then I haven’t mastered that either).
    But I want them to be able to say if something feels wrong, and to make their own decisions, otherwise how can they ever live their own lives – not what others around them pressure them to do.

  • Robert June 3, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    I’m so grateful to my parents for always answering my “why’s” with a genuine answer. Most of the time there is a good enough reason to comply and if explained then you understand the reasoning. The “Because I said so!” is never an acceptable answer – end of story.

    Then again I think I was nightmare to most people who’d either demanded obedience or those that were used to being so.

    Thankfully, I’d to think that I’ll argue my point and stand my ground but when it’s understood that I’m off the mark I’ll put my hand up and accept that too.

    @Barb – loved Ella Enchanted. :)

  • Angel June 11, 2011 at 8:38 am

    I hear what you’re saying, but I also feel there’s a big difference between blind obedience and respect.
    There are certain figures in life who need to be respected without having to explain every instruction and decision- and this is not being taught to our children. Its a lack of respect that has our poor school teachers tearing their hair out and blaming their lack of control on an inability to use corporal punishment. A child can be taught to respect authority figures- teachers, policemen, adults, older family members- but that this does not mean they must simply accept abuse in any form. That they can address such issues with the proper person and have it taken further for them.

  • Robert June 13, 2011 at 7:33 am

    @Angel, I have to disagree (mostly because that’s what I do) when you say that there are “certain figures in life who need to be respected”.

    Everybody should be respected if for nothing more than just being there (until such point they’ve proven otherwise) others gain our deeper respect by their actions.

    My argument lies mostly that there simply isn’t enough mutual respect while there’s too much for what are seen as authority figures (who certainly don’t deserve it). I’ll never expect someone who is simply smaller than me to simply “respect” those that I don’t. It’s hardly fair. :)

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