My spirited child I am blessed to have you, you challenge me in more ways than I thought possible. You are always determined to do things your way.
I have no idea where you get that from. You have so much to learn and at times the task of helping you to reach become the wonderful free thinking individual soul that you are seems totally overwhelming. I fear that is trying to survive day to day I will crush much of the spirit that makes you who you are. But I also need you to know that as much as I love you the world does not care about you as an individual. It is a hard place that does not like people who do not conform.
I have picked these songs for you, not because they are my favourite musically but because of the words.
You need a strong sense of self, but more than that you need to know that you are part of a family, a community and a country, your actions need not be conformist but they have to be kind and thoughtful of others. Be true to yourself.
There are going to be times when you wish with all your heart that something would happen or that someone would do things the way you want them done. Often it does not happen, the pain is often overwhelming, head up, one breath at a time. Sometimes you will look back and understand and other times you will never understand why.
I know you are struggling now with Afrikaans. It feels really difficult and you get frustrated easily at not being able to do it well from the start, but try really hard to learn, it is the language of a lot of people in this country especially in the Cape but not only that it will change your relationship with Yme. And of course your new brother will be learning it too. Learning a new language will also help you when you want to learn other languages one day.
I have been introduced to Die Heuwels Fantasies by Yme and this is the song he plays to the baby.
Die Heuwels Fantasies – Klein Tambotieboom
You are going to make mistakes, like I said before keep your individual spirit, be willing to go against the grain and be true to yourself BUT consider others. Try not to hurt other people but sometimes hurting others happens be willing to say sorry. We all hate it, learn the skill now it is invaluable
You are going to get hurt, very very hurt and as much as I wish that I could protect you from ever feeling pain, it is not going to happen. You are going to be disappointed, betrayed, you are going to lose people, you are going to have your heart broken. Even times when it feels like just taking the next breath is too hard, remember lots of people are been here before. There were times when I felt like this and only the thoughts of you and Callie made me want to go on. You will be okay, you will survive. Come and tell me, cry with me, let me hold you, or find the people/friends/person that you feel safe to do that with. But in the end you will be okay.
You are a South African, this is a beautiful country of much diversity and beauty, but it is also a country that has had a lot of blood spilt on the ground. Learn its history, learn about its people and most of all never forget that you have more than lots of other people in this land. Find how you can help and make this country better for all, it is worth fighting for
Fall in love, it would be ridiculous to think that you will do it only once, but try not to rush and never settle. Wait and be fussy. You have the right to be loved everything that you are and for that to be enough. No one is perfect, don’t try change the person you are with it does not work. You will natural change in ways by being together, but be that growing together and not fighting to stay who you are. The 3 words I love you can be easy to say but destroying not to hear. Don’t throw them away easily but say them enough to the right person. If someone never says them to you, they are not the right one, I learnt that the hard way.
There are many more lessons I want you to learn but enough for today. More than all the music in the world, learn to sing in the shower, dance to your own beat, love and laugh more than you do anything else and find your passion, when you know what drives you it will help channel your spirit and use your talents for good.
I love you so very very much
Your Pink Hair Mom