I am not good at waiting

I have been debating writing this blog post, but my compulsion to share things and get things out is what makes me who I am, Yme knows that. He, although very private, lets me talk and share and write as much as I need, and that is one of the reasons I love him so much. While we might be different, the understanding and acceptance of those differences, makes this work.

Okay so what do I not want to wait for? Well, I am not good at waiting for anything actually, patients is not my strong suit. Whereas Yme is infinitely patient and can plan and wait for what he wants for ages. I know it is not the right time and especially with the baby on the way and having a budget that does not cover all the basics at the moment, but I can’t help it. I want to get married.

Yes I know it is silly and not worth rushing but I can’t help it. We have talked about it and realistically it is not going to happen for quite a few YEARS but it does not stop me looking at friends pictures on FB of weddings and feeling really jealous. I pass bridal magazines and I have to stop myself looking at them. Well to be honest there might or might not be one in the back of my clothes cupboard.

I am sure 2nd weddings are all supposed to be low key and tasteful but I want the whole nine yards, not that it has to be big or expensive but I want to it be special. I have found the person that I love with all my heart, with a love I never knew possible. I have watched him join our chaotic family and take on a huge amount of responsibility with real maturity and strength. I want a day to show everyone how I feel about him.

Funny these were never the thoughts at my 1st wedding. The first time it just seemed like the right time, we were marrying age and had been together for a while and I wanted kids and to move life along as it should be – so stupid looking back. It was fun planning but it was more about the planning and so little about loving the person I was marrying. I am totally convinced that neither of us ever loved the other one. We settled for what we thought was as good as it gets.

But the bottom line is there is just no money for a wedding and there will not be for a long long time. Does not stop my heart yearning and wishing it could be now that I could shout to the world how much I love this man.

what are your thoughts on 2nd marriages?
what are you finding hard to wait for in your life at the moment?

15 thoughts on “I am not good at waiting

  1. Our wedding will be proper – it has had to be on hold for a little longer but hopefully the end of next year 🙂

    I am waiting for something but cant share right now what it is but its vey cool 🙂

  2. I am very instant gratification so am definitely not good at waiting. I am so feeling it with you.
    There are many things at the moment that I am having to wait for. I am waiting for my new job to come through for me. I am waiting for a possible financial bonus from work so that I can clear all my debt before 2011 starts. I am waiting for a fresh start. I know it will come but having to wait is driving me insane.
    Re: second weddings: I think that it can be whatever you want depending on the personalities of the couple getting married. I like small and intimate. I have friends who say either go big or go home. I recently went to a wedding (the second marriage for both parties)and it was the most beautiful wedding that I had ever been to. The bride looked elegant in a blue dress and the groom was dashing in his suit. There were only 50 people who witnessed the ceremony and we had dinner at a very fancy hotel. In her speech, the bride literally went around the room and thanked each person there and told them what they meant to her in her life. It was gorgeous and everything that I think a wedding should be.

    I hope that you don’t have to wait too long…x

  3. The problem is that if we don’t do it now then it is a long wait until the baby is big enough to even consider it, hence the 2 years. Maybe I should just be a bride with a bump or is that not cool?

  4. I don’t think it matters if it’s a 1st, 2nd or 3rd wedding – you do what feels right for you!
    We just got engaged and we have no money for a wedding. I think we’ll have to wait until 2012. Doesn’t stop me from looking though. I have no idea what I want but I know I want a wedding now!

  5. Thanks Nicci
    Julia I hope things start looking up and that 2011 is better for you, sounds like it has been rough.
    Laura: I can’t but help wanting proper too
    Claudz: Congrats, hope you don’t have to wait too long

  6. Ok, so as per usual I have an opinion. I think your second wedding could be as small or as elaborate as you wish. Do what you want, wear what you want. It’s your day.

    I am also of the opinion that if you wait to have enough money to get married or have a kid, it’s never going to happen. Proper does not need to cost a fortune – the memories that remain of the day is what counts. We had a budget wedding, but it was still beautiful, stylish and very very special.

    Go ahead, just do it!

  7. brazen – 4 years oh boy i would have gone mad by now
    cat – I know what you mean that is sort of what I am worried about, if we don’t make some plan then there will just never be the money. It is not going to just appear we need to start setting some aside but we hardly have enough to cover what we need now.

  8. Oooo a beach wedding will be awesome 🙂 You must have the wedding you both want. It may be your 2nd but it’s Yme’s first! And you don’t need to wait 2 years. There are PLENTY people who will happy hold love and cuddle the #pinkgeekbaby while you do your nuptuals.

  9. I have to be honest if being proper meant waiting I would go for not proper – the being married is the big thing for me no the wedding. If I could do it again I would go even smaller, cheaper and simpler than we had (and ours was pretty simple).

    • I agree Barbs, it is about being married, the commitment and what that means. The wedding is a fun vehicle for that but not the big focus.

  10. You can still go the whole hog in terms of special but you keep those invited to family. The biggest cost of a wedding is the venue and trying to feed the masses. Have a garden high tea party and just serve cakes and coffee and you still get to dress fancy Ü and will have fun. All the stress of organising a wedding is not worth the pomp and ceremony imo.

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