A time to let go

I woke up on Saturday morning in tears, not a good way to start the day but in the end it brought closure on something that has been bothering me for ages. I had the most vivid dream about a friend being dead. I was really upset as we have been friends for a long time and even though things seem to have fallen apart recently, I really value this person. The problem is that I am not sure they feel the same. I feel like I am regarded with contempt which is not good for a friendship, feeling sub-intelligent is not nice.

My first thought was that I should make contact, email or something. Just try to say how much the friendship meant to me and maybe try pick up the pieces. What a realized, as I thought about it and as I spoke to someone who’s opinion I hold in very high regard, was that what I hoped to achieve by making contact and the probable reality were 2 very different things. I would just have to deal with more unkind words and explanations as to why I am not a nice person. Or I might just be ignored.

While good friendships always feel like something one should hang onto at all costs. But over time perhaps we grow in different direction or we do not get on as well as we used to. Letting go is hard, I hate to walk away but this time I think I have to.

Goodbye, thank you for the good times, the laughs, the meandering conversations and the times when it was easy to talk for hours. I will miss your friendship.

11 thoughts on “A time to let go

  1. If you had 12 months to live would it be important to waist energy? You can’t unscramble scrambled eggs & can’t drive only look at the rearview mirror. Focus on the many choices on the road ahead.

  2. Rule 1.

    You never did get me. Now I don’t even get a goodbye. Even in another 8 years time you’re still going to have to rebuild trust you’ve broken now. Given how you’re making decisions at the moment, that’s probably far too much hard work, so you run. Good luck with the new solution, I guess. What happens when you have no other choices BUT hard ones?

  3. The subconscious is a powerful force. In your dream, it was simply affirming what you already knew so that you could move on with a clear conscience. Go Pinkhairgirl!

  4. Good luck. Also remember that life works in very strange ways. 5 years ago I said goodbye to a dear friend. Someone whom I loved but felt that we had grown in very different directions.
    Late last year she phoned, we started talking, and I remembered why we’d been close friends in the first place. Apparently she also had an illuminating moment. we’re building our friendship again, and now we know what the deal breaker is for both sides.

  5. It’s hard. At what point do you say it really is over- and there will be no more contact, despite those dreams and thoughts and possibilities?
    There’s no answer. You love life and move on, and look to the future. I think it;s important to have ‘closure’, but life isn’t as finite and contained as that. We reminisce, dream and fantasise, but it is waht is happening NOW that is most valuable. #2cents

  6. dislekcia I take it from the odd comment above?

    Friends should be supportive – even when they dont agree with the choices you make and let you know, they should do it gently, because they love you, right?

    Onward and upward!

  7. We make our choices in life based on what we believe is best for us at that time and with information we have to hand at that time. In time it is possible that we will see we’ve made a wrong decision. Or maybe it isn’t wrong – maybe it made us grow in a way we wouldn’t have had we not made the “wrong” decision. Your true friends will stand by you through your “mistakes”, your ups and downs. Those that choose to ciriticise are not worth bothering over. Let them pass you by, their friendship was for a season not a lifetime.
    Love you my friend, through the ups and downs xxx

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