I have everything I need.

Right now I am happy, yes you read right. Sally-Jane’s emo blog has the word happy on it. I am, and you know the strangest part is that I am not anywhere near the place I thought I would be when I typed those words. But events of the past few weeks have brought some clarity.

I know that I need time and space to heal. I need to examine how and why I got my self into the place I did and the events in my life since leaving my marriage. One thing I know is that I am not good at being alone. Luckily for me I am surrounded by the most awesome friends that a girl could ask for, they hold me up. I really mean that, without them I would not survive even one day.

Situations and circumstances mean that I am alone, but at the same time I am not, if that makes sense. I need this time to sort out my life get to a place where I am independent and where I will never again be at a disadvantage like I was after my marriage ended. I realize that I need to learn the difference between being more in control of my life and total bloody minded independence for independence sake. I must not do it at the cost of cutting people off and I need to learn to accept help when I need not do stuff just to prove that I could do it ALL by myself.

So these are the things I need that people give me in my life right now

– I need the single moms who shows such amazing strength and show me it can be done
– I need my amazing business partner and very very close friend Barbara, I have no idea how I will ever cope without her being around
– I need the bench where I can sit and look at the beauty and calm and find a way to bring it into my life.
– I need the happy, even when it is slightly more complicated than intended and boundaries are getting blurred
– I need the awesome, the big dreams and the huge ideas and the art of friendship
– I need people to expect the best from me and help me to achieve it and never settle for mediocre
– I need love

I know that the future is going to be hard and that there are so many things that I have to face and do in the coming year but if I focus on all of that now I think I might pull the covers over my head and not get out of bed. Rather what I choose to focus on are the moments of joy, laughter, comfort, peace and happiness that I share with the amazing people in my life. I will let the happy feed my soul and make the journey ahead a little easier.

5 thoughts on “I have everything I need.

  1. Just found your blog via myscoop, and noticed some other blogger friends that I know. Small world 🙂

    Yes, to remind ourselves that we *do* have everything we need is not only a good thing, but it ensures that good things continue to come our way.

    Strength on your journey, and over the festive season.

    I find, on a personal level, that sometimes we need the ‘dips’ to be able to notice when we reach the top of a hill, in order to be able to take in the view.

  2. Not that I have known you very long, but I always seen you as creative and vibrant. I am glad you are happy, I am glad you are healing.

    Being a single mom is the hardest and most rewarding thing ever!

    I think I am at a similar stage in life, I think for me confidence and self-worth is also a big issue. We will get there one step at a time!

    I am so glad you are happy!

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